Which is it? Which one of these paradigms rules your own behavior? If you are like me, then it’s a little bit of both.
Lately, I think I’ve been leaning more toward fearing success – than failing. I don’t usually contemplate my fears – most times, rushing into the unknown like a young child. I think that’s my inner voice that is calling and I blindly follow. And when I do follow, good things happen. And that’s when I start to get afraid.
Odd isn’t it – being afraid when things are going as I planned, even as I dreamed. I guess for me, fearing success stems from my own lack of self-confidence and questioning myself “Am I deserving of these good things that are happening in my life?
If I stop and think about it – that it was my hard work that led to those “good things” – then I’m OK. But when hard work comes from a place of passion, deep within me, I lose sight that it is work at all. Sure, there are days when things overwhelm me and days when everything I do seems to “fail”, but mostly my work is my joy.
The only thing I really fear is to wake up one day and not feel joy in what I’m doing. I hope that if that happens, I face my fears and change things.
Journeys of a Hybrid 