Personal Stories – Page 13 – Journeys of a Hybrid

December 28, 2011

Happy New Day

This is the time of year when we look back at our past year – our ups, our downs and everything in between. And we all pretty much look forward with optimism for a better year ahead – making pledges to ourselves with good intentions, to do better or be better in the New Year.

But what happens when you break the pledge that you made to yourself early in the year? Many of us tend to feel that we’ve somehow failed if we don’t live up to our own expectations with our yearly resolutions. Some of us think it’s better not to even make resolutions or have any expectations.

As for me, I look at every day as a new day rather than limit my aspirations to an annual event.

Times Square, New Years Eve, NYC — Times Square

Every day that I wake up is a “fresh start” for me. Any given day comes with the hope of possibilities. Anything can happen, especially if I open my mind to that way of thinking. Rather than pledge every New Year’s Eve that next year will be better – I tell myself every day that the yesterday is gone, and I don’t know if there will be a tomorrow, so all I have is the now.

I do know that I’ve grown personally this past year. I have learned to quiet my mind and in doing so I have gotten more in touch with myself. I question myself as to why I think I may want to do something. If the answers are mostly ego driven – I dismiss the notion. The more I get in touch with who I am and listen to my own voice, the more I have to give. I have opened my heart with no expectations in return but have been richly rewarded by doing so.

I wish I had learned all that I learned this past year, a long time ago. But everything has its own time and I needed to get through all those days along the way. That’s what makes life worth living.

Here’s to every new day.

December 26, 2011

It’s a Wonderful Life

We have a holiday tradition in our family. Every Christmas Eve we watch the classic Capra movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” No matter how many times I have seen it – I cry every time at the end when George Bailey, Jimmy Stewart’s character, opens a book that is inscribed “no man is a failure who has friends.” The movie is about George Bailey a frustrated but compassionate businessman following in the footsteps of his father. He runs a small building and loan company, barely making a profit, but making it possible for his customers – his friends and neighbors – to get a home.

There’s a crisis in the film where George wants to end his life. An angel comes to him and shows him what it would have been like if he had never been born. That’s when George realizes how much his life has affected the lives of others and what a rich life he really has.

I think we all tend to forget how our lives affect the lives of others. In the things we say. In the things left unsaid. Often times we don’t even realize how we affect others because we are too narrowly focused on ourselves and only see our own perspective. Many times, our perspective might not be what’s really happening at all. The funny thing is that you never really know how your life has affected another’s unless they tell you – and most people don’t.

Every so often when I get frustrated by people’s actions, I remind myself that those very things that people do that make me feel bad or angry or sad – are the human imperfections that make life what it is. I remind myself that my imperfections and actions have an affect on others as well.

Every now and then, I’ll get an email or a Facebook message where somebody lets me know that I affected them in a positive way. It’s usually very something simple that I did or said, but it makes me feel good to hear that I made someone else’s life a little bit better.

Our world has changed a lot since Capra made this movie in 1946. A “friend” has taken on a different meaning – certainly a broader as we communicate globally with ease. But ultimately people are people with the basic human need of wanting to be loved and to know that someone cares about them. When we begin to understand that – it is what we do for others that brings the most rewards to our own life – then it really is a wonderful life.

December 22, 2011

A Solo Act

Video is very much a collaborative effort, and that’s exactly what I love about it. I’ve made some wonderful connections and partnerships while creating my documentary, Opening Our Eyes.

But every now and then, I find that I need to go “solo”. I am a storyteller and a bit of a wanderer by heart and it had led to an interesting life – a life full of people, cultures and far flung destinations around the world. I have found that when I travel solo, I become more absorbed into the culture of where I am. I have no one with me to distract me or draw my attention away.

I’ve spent many years, traveling, observing and shooting stories for magazines all over the globe. In looking at my old work or even when editing new work, I’ve noticed a similarity in “feeling” among many of my images. There’s a quiet contemplative mood that shows through. In my people photos this “mood” is apparent in the connection that I make with my subjects – whether in a posed or candid photo. With my landscapes there’s more of a serene, yet melancholy moment.

I’ve come to realize that this “feeling” in many of my still images come my perspective as an”individual” who is solo when shooting. I can always tell which images I’ve shot when I’ve been by myself as opposed to those shot when traveling with a group. It’s hard to put into words, but when I’m alone and I’m exploring, I shoot differently. I see differently. I interact differently and people react differently to me.

So, I will always make room for both ways of working in my life – collaboratively and as a solo act. Each one brings its own rewards into my life and to my craft.

December 10, 2011December 10, 2011

How a Film Can Make a Difference

I never fully realized the power that is within me to make a difference, until recently. Last summer, my daughter and I spent time with extraordinary people who were providing homes for orphans, feeding the hungry and curing the ill. They were all people we met while making a documentary about the change makers in our world – people who are making our planet a better place.

Our goal was to inspire and motivate others as to what they can do to make a difference in their own communities. Our goal was to cause a shift, in culture and in thought – from “what in it for me?” to “what can I do?” We’ve just begun to submit this documentary to film festivals and show sneak previews to small audiences but I can already tell that this film has affected change and the potential it has to move people to action.

From our first sneak preview at the beautiful State Theater in Traverse City, MI to a recent screening at MIS in Sao Paulo, Brazil, I feel the energy in the room and the collective desire to strive for a better world. I feel the power of film and the power within me as a storyteller and filmmaker. I feel the time for this film is now and that people are hungry for hope.

Many documentaries take the critical point of view and certainly have more conflict. Opening Our Eyes is different from other docs in that it shines a light on what IS being done to create positive change by individuals all over the world. Somehow by showing the small acts, this film makes all of us believe that we can create change as well. It empowers us to believe in the possibilities and gives us the hope we seem to be yearning for these days.

When I first conceived of the idea for this film, inspired by friend and neighbor Maggie Doyne, I was looking for some positive hope myself. I was tired of listening to the hundreds of “experts” on TV talking and all of them needing to be “right” – and nothing was getting any better. That was long before the Arab Spring and the Occupy movements. What I was sensing was the rest of the world was feeling the same way I was and decided to do something about it.

Time will tell if the film continues to create awareness and moves people to action, but at least I’m hopeful again.

Please consider supporting our effort by making a contribution to our IndieGoGo campaign, which only has a few weeks, left to go. And it’s tax deductible.

We can’t do it without your help.

December 8, 2011

There Are No Prince Charmings or Overnight Successes

I think we all buy into a lot of crap in our American culture – in a lot of cultures actually.

Let’s start with “Prince Charming”. Young girls grow up believing in the fantasy that there is ”the ideal man” out there who is perfect in every way. And young boys grow up with their own version of this fairytale. It’s really too bad because it’s all those flaws and differences that make us all human and drive us all crazy, that are the very things we should embrace. In our expectations for perfection and our intolerance for less, we often see only the “blemishes” or the cons and overlook the overall person. We fail to see that it is all of those things that go into the make up of a person’s character. It took my husband and I many years to figure out that the very things that annoyed us about one another – our differences – made us stronger as a couple.

There is no such thing as an “overnight success”. We believe that because in our culture we only hear about the successes. For some reason we don’t look at the big picture and everything that led to that recognition. Success is an interesting concept to me anyway. Many people define it by winning or attaining financial wealth. Ultimately, it’s defined by a final destination rather than the journey. Is it really about the final destination? If so how does one determine if only one win is enough or how much money is enough?

Talk to anyone who has risen to celebrity status and they will talk about the ups and the downs and the constantly evolving journey. A lot of musicians, who have had big hits and have gotten rave reviews, don’t always get the same glory the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time around. Their careers are made up of the highs and the lows and everything inbetween.

I’ve had my share of highs and lows. Last week I got my rejection notice from the Sundance Film Festival for my film, Opening Our Eyes. Rather than be despondent about it, I will frame this email rejection as a reminder to myself that I entered and had the courage to try. There were over 11,000 entries and only 16 documentaries will be shown this year. I am proud to be in this 99%. This rejection is but one of many that I’ve had over the years of my career. I’ve certainly had more rejections than I’ve had successes, but the failures have only made the successes that much sweeter.

This film in particular has been an evolving journey for me – with no destination in sight. While it may never be a “success” in terms of how some people define that word, for me it has already brought many unexpected rewards to my life. For example, I’ve just returned from Sao Brazil, Brazil where I had been invited to do a TEDx talk. It was one of those weekends that gave me great hope for the future as I dialoged with amazing people who were doing extraordinary things with their lives and for the lives of others. The next evening I was given the opportunity to screen my film at MIS, a beautiful museum in Sao Paulo. During the Q&A, a man asked me if making this film had changed my life. I didn’t have to give it a second thought before I answered “yes and it continues to do so in amazing ways.”

I will continue to embrace the entire journey – the lows as well as the highs.

December 2, 2011

Five Top Tips for Emerging Photographers

I talk to a lot of young aspiring photographers these days and invariably I am asked, “What advice would you give someone who is just starting their career in photography? – Is there a future? – Can I make a living?”

I don’t have a crystal ball but I do have 35 years of experience behind me but yet the enthusiasm and outlook of a 25 year old. I remind myself of what I learned from my mentors when I was just starting out. One mentor, who shaped my career, was art director Adrian Taylor of Travel & Leisure Magazine. Adrian taught me a lot – about magazines, about the story, about style and taste and most importantly he gave me the confidence to believe in myself. Adrian gave two young, naïve photographers, my partner and myself a chance and in return – we always gave it our all every time we set out to shoot a story.

With that said, I would not be where I am today if it had not been for mentors like Adrian Taylor and my greatest joy at this point in my life is to pay that forward to photographers just starting their careers.

Learn video – Video is no longer a “specialty niche” or in fact a separate genre at all. In the very near future – which is already upon us – a photographer will need to know how to shoot both stills and motion – or partner with someone who does.
Stay true to what your inner voice is telling you. For example, if your passion is to be a photojournalist, don’t listen to people who are telling you that photojournalism is dead and that newspapers are a thing of the past. While “printed” newspapers may be dying out – journalism and photojournalism is not. Don’t let others’ dogma determine what your path should be.
Collaborate with your peers. When I was first starting out, photographers kept their clients, their techniques and their ideas to themselves. But I have found that whenever I have collaborated with others – we all push the bar to the next level – each bringing their own strong suits to the project. As a subject of my film Opening Our Eyes told me “We’ve got to shine each other up.”
You don’t need the validation of others to proceed with your idea and make it into a tangible plan and product. As far as publishing and/or distribution is concerned – the gates to the kingdom are open and the kingdom is the entire world. We are living in a time of empowerment for the individual and for a content creator that is profound. If you are willing to do the work – the rewards are bountiful.
Act on the ideas that don’t go away. It’s easy to let resistance sabotage you. Resistance comes from many places – your loved ones, friends, your peers – but mostly yourself. Stop talking yourself out of ideas and start acting on the ones that just won’t quit you.

I have made my work my pleasure in my life. I have always found it difficult to separate the two. When you feel that – you’ll know you are on the right path.

November 27, 2011

Sassed by a Hooker in Vegas

OK, I admit it, Las Vegas is not my favorite place in the world, but it is thought provoking. After spending a couple of glorious weeks in New Zealand with its dramatic natural landscapes and warm, trusting people (I was surprised to find out that they have no airport security for domestic flights in NZ), I was thrown into a culture shock by heading straight to Vegas.

Whenever I’m in Vegas, I feel like I’m in one of those awful reality shows where everyone exudes bad behavior. What do you expect from a city that encourages bad behavior in their advertising campaign. It’s a non-stop show of human excess and decadence. It’s great for people-watching but it depletes the soul.

One evening a group of friends and I watched the endless parade of humanity – at its worst. Women wearing outfits that they definitely don’t look good in, everybody over imbibing on something or other and hustlers of all kinds – everywhere. So, I was amused when a hooker caught my glance and made a remark about me looking at her. Isn’t that’s what she’s going for – to be noticed?

I suppose I’m at a point in my life where I have no use for an environment that is the opposite of what is important in my life – tranquility and beauty. I wonder – what is it that attracts people to this destination – is it the chance of getting “lucky”? Or is it a place they feel they can go to be their “real” self. If so, I wonder why they need Vegas for that?

I don’t get it but I was happy to go home – or back to New Zealand.

November 24, 2011November 24, 2011

Being Grateful but Overwhelmed

What’s the old saying – “be careful what you wish for?”

I have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving morning, because so many of my wishes are coming true. But they haven’t come without a cost or a compromise somewhere along the line.

For example, I’ve been highly focused on the making and promoting of my film Opening Our Eyes. While that has brought many rewards into my life, it has also taken time away from my business. It’s helped my business by bringing awareness to it. But it’s also hurt my business because it’s taken some of my attention away– or at least for the time being. There are only so many hours in the day.

When I take time to take a breathe these days, I wonder how it will all turn out. I feel that I’m taking a risk for once in my life. I’m listening to myself and not questioning it or pulling back at the wrong time because I’m doubting myself.

I think we all have to decide the kind of life we want to live and live it the best we know how. The older I get the more I realize that.

On this Thanksgiving morning, I’m thankful that I’m living a full life and open to possibilities.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

November 15, 2011

Competing With Yourself

I started writing this blog a couple of days after I got to New Zealand. Now I am in the airport lounge waiting for my departure after an incredible 16 days in this country.

When I began this post, I had just won the Bronze award for Travel Photographer of the Year at the SATW (Society of American Travel Writers) convention in Wellington, New Zealand. I was up against some pretty stiff competition from some of the best travel photographers in the world, so it was an honor that I greatly appreciated.

On the last evening of the convention, they announced the winners of the Photographer Shootout that had taken place the first 3 days of the trip. The starting point was the Auckland airport where all the photographers involved were given their own vehicle – each identical in every way so as not to give anyone an unfair advantage. You could make your own itinerary and go anywhere you wanted to on the North Island – as long as you returned the car in Wellington – 3 days later by 5PM.

The weather was mixed as it usually is during springtime in most countries. We had some clouds, some sun and one morning of hard rain. One of the challenges of course was driving on the left side but that wasn’t as frustrating as the lack of a “shoulder” along the road to pull off to when I saw a magnificent sight – which was just about every 5 minutes. The distances were deceiving and invariably I had twice as much on my itinerary that I ended up getting to.

When I finally returned the car, I was happy to be rid of it – weary of the winding roads that were quite challenging at times. I felt good about the photos I had captured – but not overwhelmed by them because there were so many that I knew I had missed. When they announced that I had won second place silver portfolio – I was surprised and delighted because it had been so challenging for me on many levels. I’m mostly a people and city photographer, so in a country that’s known more for their scenery than large population centers – I was constantly pushing myself out of my norm.

I think that is why the shoot out reward is particularly meaningful to me. I wasn’t trying to beat out my competition and in fact I didn’t feel like someone else needed to lose in order for me to win. I felt good that I had pushed myself out of my comfort zone and every time I have done that, I have been richly rewarded. It was nice to be recognized by my peers and it was nice to win a prize but the best part of all was the feeling that I gave myself. I succeeded in what I had set out to do and that was to try something new and face some trepidations.

The older I get I realize that it’s all about the journey – not the destination.

October 28, 2011

Burning Bridges

I used to have a friend who would tell me that my life was made up of circles, each one completing the ring like segments of my life. The truth is that’s not unique to me – that’s life in general.

It’s Photo Plus Expo week in New York City, when photographers from around the world gather at Javits to look at new gear, take part in seminars and network. I don’t think I have missed an Expo since they began over 30 years ago. A lot has changed in the photography business over the past 30 years, but one thing is for certain and that is – it’s a very small world as far as the people who are part of this business.

Last night, I went to a couple of parties where I ran into quite a few people that I’ve met over the span of my career. Some I had done commissioned assignments for, some I had met through seminars that I had given and some were just old friends that I hadn’t seen in a very long time. But a couple of folks who approached me last night, and struck up a conversation, were people who had totally blown me off in years past – people who had simply ignored me. In every instance, these had been people who had recently experienced a shift in their own lives and now had a sudden interest in me and in what I was doing – to further their own gain.

I know that I have burned a few bridges in my lifetime and I’m sure there are some I’m not even aware of. (Anyone who tells you that they haven’t burned bridge is just simply not aware.) Some of those bridges, I have tried to rebuild and have succeeded. and some were beyond repair. What I have learned – and wish I had learned 20 years ago – is that everything comes around in your life, no matter how much you have grown or changed – the past is always present. And it seems easier sometimes to change the past – but of course that’s not possible.

What I’m finding now is that due to profound changes in the photography business as well as the lingering lousy economy, that the same people, who had ignored me or dismissed me a few years ago, were now acting like my “best friend”. I’m sure they didn’t remember how dismissive they had been to me – in fact I doubt that I was even on their radar at the time. But circumstances had changed in their lives and now they were taking notice of me and even asking for my help. I suppose I could say that they had burned a bridge with me but then again in most of these situations there had never been a bridge to burn to begin with.

The point is, you never know how your past will affect your future. You may think that you are in a position where you have no need for certain people in your life and be dismissive. But nothing lasts forever and if there is anything that I’ve learned by getting older – it’s just that. Our lives are made up of circles, each one connecting our past with our future. Consider that when dealing with people who come in and out of your life – because nothing ever stays the same. Many times you’ll find out that those people that you thought you had no use for in your past – may be key in your future. Hindsight is the best sight and you always get the best light from a burning bridge.

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