Story telling – Page 9 – Journeys of a Hybrid

March 4, 2012March 4, 2012

Paying it Forward – It’s Amazing

I got the best email yesterday. It was from a young man who had attended a seminar I had given at Yale for ASMP on “Should I Be Thinking of Video”. I remember that evening well. I had recently returned from a 3-month journey circling the globe with my daughter creating a documentary on people making a positive difference in the world.
I was still very much in the same head-set that I had been for the past few months – one full of peace and belief in myself. I had just come off an intensive period where I was “walkin’ the walk” and I was practicing what I preached.

The young man, Brian, wrote, that he had attended my seminar with his father, who was a photographer and that he, himself had grown up wanting to make movies. So, my seminar was a perfect combination for them. Then Brian wrote “That night you inspired me.” My heart jumped when I read it. He went on to remind me of things that I had said that evening – about overcoming fears in order to realize your dreams – in my case traveling the world to make a movie. Leaving the known behind – for the unknown. Telling yourself “yes” instead of giving yourself reasons not to.

Brian said that he had recently landed his first job of his career as a structural engineer. He loved it, but he also had a great desire to travel. That night he went home and furiously “googled” anything about traveling the world and beyond. He came across the website of “Engineers Without Borders” and as serendipity would have it, they were having their monthly meeting that week.

To make a long, but interesting story, short, Brian went to that meeting that week, and talked with some people during a break who were organizing a trip to a village in India.

Then they invited him to go with them in February. He was astounded. And then he did the same thing many of us do in similar situations – he started giving himself every rational reason why he shouldn’t/couldn’t possibly do something like this. In Brian’s case – how could he ask his new boss for 3 weeks of time off?

That night when Brian heard me speak, was about a year and a half ago. In the email he sent to me yesterday, he talked about spending the last year editing his 15 hours of footage, down to a 40 minute piece. He told me that it hadn’t been easy and that he frequently read my blog posts where I had written about my similar experiences with post-production – magnified. What I had shared had helped him through it – angst and all.

My favorite line in his email read:

“So, I’m finally done with my movie, although there’s things I wish I had done differently, I did my best and I’m glad it’s finished! The final product is one thing, but the journey to get there is another, and the past 18 months have been such an amazing experience for me! I owe it all to you! Sorry for the long email but I’ve been waiting 18 months to tell you my story!!”

Brian just launched a Kickstarter campaign to send another engineer to Nepal for a similar project. You can find out more about it here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/videotaping/welcome-to-abheypur-the-movie

I think back on that evening and the year and a half in between. I’ve gone through two tough winters, doing the kind of work that needs to be done, but nevertheless takes its toll on my heart and my soul. That evening, my spirit was alive and well. Brian and others felt it and it moved them to a place they wanted to be. And now, after a tough winter, that same “energy” has come back around to me through Brian’s email. It has reminded me to stay the course and stay on purpose. Thanks Brian.

February 28, 2012February 28, 2012

Looking Back

Today, I’ve been looking back through two year’s worth of blog posts that I have written. Wow – I’ve written a lot! I really surprised myself at just how much when I started gathering the content that I had written in regards to the making of my documentary, Opening Our Eyes. I’m putting together my 2nd ePub that will be a companion to my first ePub, recently published on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.

My focus is centered on the “craft” and the making of the film, and I talk about everything from “the gear” I put together for our 99-day journey around the world to the distribution process for the final film. A bulk of the content has already been written with photographs ready to upload and links. It’s just a matter of consolidating the information and presenting it in a more concise way.

Earlier in the year, I paid my dues in the learning department when I put together the first ePub. After my experience working with a professional formatter, I quickly realized what not to do. One big thing I learned was not to get too heavy with the images because the first generations of Kindles have only b&w displays. I also learned not to create intricate designs in Pages because later I had to undo all the work I had done for a PDF version of the printed book.

I am amazed at how much I have written over the last few years. It was interesting to look back through some of my blog entries, and see how I was “processing things” at the time I was writing those posts. I’ve never really kept a journal before, accept for a one year period in my life, between the ages of 19 and 20, when I was making my first journey around the world.

I’m really happy that I have archived these stories and records of my life, but that’s not what motivated me to first start writing. I used to wake up super early in the morning – my mind spinning with ideas and random thoughts, not allowing me to get back to sleep. So, I would get up and I started writing down my random thoughts and I found it therapeutic. It was like having a conversation with someone and sorting things out.

There are chunks of time in my life that I simply don’t feel like writing or that I have nothing to really say. My mind seems to go into a dormant phase where I convalesce with other distractions – usually mindless ones. But then there are days when I just have the need to get my thoughts down on paper. I’m grateful for those days – on days like this when I take the time to look back from where I’ve been.

February 17, 2012

When “We” Became “Me”

It started happening after JFK was assassinated, followed by Martin Luther King’s death and finally the brutal slaying of JFK’s brother, Robert in the kitchen of a hotel in Los Angeles. We were beginning to shift from a culture of “we” that began after the troops came back from the “big war – WWII” and everyone wanted to get back to normal life – having families, friends, and earn enough money to take a vacation every year, pay your bills and be able to educate your kids so that they would have a chance at a better life.

I was a kid in the fifties and it was a time when there was a real sense of community – definitely a “we” feeling in many ways. Our backyards all connected into one big play field for all the kids in the neighborhood with the “woods” being the un-chartered territory beyond. We ran free, till dark, feeling like our own tribe of “we” with our own set of rules. Everyone pretty much looked out for one another –parents looked out for their neighbors’ kids, kids watched out for other kids, moms helped out other moms and dads the same. We had a sense of community.

In the late sixties things began to change. The Vietnam War was in full swing, along with the Civil Rights Movement and student unrest was building to the “Arab Spring” of its times. Our dreams were beginning to fade – our friends were coming home in body bags, our cities and neighborhoods were being destroyed during the riots of the late sixties, and our leaders were assassinated, one after another. A shift was starting to happen. We were becoming divided. Fences and hedges started to divide our backyards, breaking up that once endless playing field. We were starting to become more about “me.”

As a culture we roared through the 80’s and 90’s following a path as a society that believed that in order to win, others had to lose. We became greedy, thinking only of our personal gain and caring little how that affected others. The divide among us has exceeded beyond what most of us would have ever thought possible. We have made an art of “ how to get nothing done” with our political system and no one is getting anywhere. We are expending so much negative energy and if we don’t turn that around, we are all doomed.

I’m not a pessimist – just the opposite. I think if we can all just stop and flip our mindset into what we “can do”, instead of slamming the “other guy”, we just might be able to turn things around. I see a younger generation, the 25-30 year olds who are thinking more in terms of the “we”, and getting away from the “me” mentality. I have great hopes for this generation. We are at a turning point. I’d like to look back at this time 10 years from now and say to myself “I’m glad I did something.”

January 31, 2012

Why Did You Want to Become a Photographer?

That was one of the questions posed to me during an interview this past weekend. A young woman had asked to interview me for a college paper she was writing. The call and the questions started out somewhat clinical, most likely another task or paper that she needed to check off her list. She proceeded through the usual list of questions: “Did you go to photography school?” “What type of photography are you interested in?” So on and so forth.

I could hear her typing my answers and I paused to let her catch up. But then she asked a question that really struck me on many levels. “Did you get into photography because it was cheaper?” I asked her what she meant by that – did she mean the tools of the trade were cheaper? When she responded “yes”, I told her that was somewhat of a misnomer and that the first cameras I bought (mechanical ones) I had used for 10 years. I added that now, because of the exponential impact of technology on my profession, my cameras and the software I need on the post end, have to be upgraded at least every two or three years, and that was only part of the investment required in the “tools of the trade.”

As she typed my response, I felt myself getting a bit anxious and I started speaking rapidly. I told her that even if that were true – meaning that I got into the photographic profession because it was cheaper – that would have been the absolute worst reason for me or anyone else, to choose photography as a profession. I went on to say that you need to be passionate about some aspect of photography that makes you want to do it more than anything, if you want to have a chance of sustaining yourself financially in this profession. Pursue photography because it brings you joy and that if you are getting into it because the entry level costs were “cheaper” you’ll simply be competing with thousands or tens of thousands of button pushers.

I went on to tell her that I became a photographer as a means to an end. I had been studying architecture in college and after two years left school to travel. I traveled the world for a year and came back knowing that I wanted to pursue a lifestyle that would incorporate travel but more importantly fill my endless curiosity of people and cultures and exploration. I wanted to become a storyteller, and became a photographer as a means to that end.

As the interview progressed I noticed the typing started to diminish as I told her that I have never separated my business from my pleasure and that they have always been tied together throughout my life. Simply put – my business is my pleasure. I talked about my frustrations starting out as one of a handful of women in a man’s world and for the most part a man’s profession – at least in the early days. I talked about the endless stream of rejections and the “wins” that seemed to pop into my life when I needed them most, rescuing me in the knick of time, just when I was thinking of quitting and moving into another career. I told her that unless she really wanted to do photography, she wouldn’t survive in this profession. I talked about my mentors when I was her age and how grateful I am that I had those people in my life. I relayed a couple of anecdotes about things my mentors had said to me and how those words had been pivotal moments in my life and that when things got tough, I drew upon those words of wisdom to get me through the day.

Then there was a very loud audible sigh, followed by a long period of silence and my mind raced through the various things that I had said to her. Was I too harsh? Did I paint too bleak of picture? Or worse yet – did I make it sound too easy and that all she had to do was “just do it”. I felt this overwhelming sense of responsibility that maybe I said something that was going to dictate the rest of her life and I kind of panicked in that moment of silence. And then she said “thank you so much for talking to me today, I started out just wanting to write my paper, and I’m going to have a great paper, but you have no idea how much talking to you has helped me.” She went on to tell me that she had been struggling with a decision that she was trying to make between going to law school and going to film school. I told her that she needed to make that decision all by herself and that it wasn’t a decision that anyone else could make for her – not I – not her parents – not anyone else. I told her to dig down deep into herself for the answer, beyond the influence of others, the dogma of the day and all the noise. And most importantly to remember that it was her life and that she got to choose how to live it and that she had every right to change her mind along the way.

Quite honestly, it has been one of those “onion” months for me, with layers of setbacks and second-guessing myself. I got off the phone feeling good about paying forward what I have learned along my way and in that moment, I realized that this might be my “purpose” at this point in my life. The day had turned into one of those sweet “strawberry days”. She didn’t know it, but she had helped me as much as she said I had helped her. It’s those conversations and those little moments that keep me going, and come to my rescue, just in the knick of time.

I would love to hear from you all – why did you want to become a photographer? Something you say or write just may help someone and paying it forward is the best feeling in the world.

January 17, 2012January 17, 2012

Dealing with Rejection

Steve Jobs used to quote a saying “If you live each day as if it was your last – some day you’ll be right”.

I’ve pretty much applied this philosophy in my life and in doing so, many (but certainly not most) of my days are full. Some days are filled with joy and accomplishment and other days it seems like nothing is working out. Most days are a mixture of both – “hits and misses.”

I’m the type of person who tends to live life passionately, with hopes and dreams that are probably too lofty, and with that comes a lot of rejection. A lot of successful people are like me in that way. That’s not to say that I always feel successful, but some people may perceive me that way because every so often I achieve what I set out to do. What they don’t realize are all the times it didn’t work out. I can tell you, that I’ve had my fair share of misses. So how do I deal with rejection?

I remind myself – not to take it personally. Many times, it’s just that someone else has a different point of view and it’s just not the right fit. It may be a job that I didn’t get or a party I didn’t get invited to. And more times than not – it’s not about me or my work at all.
I try to find out why something was rejected. I do this because even though it’s hard to hear “why”, I know that if I can take my emotions out of the equation, I can learn and grow from it.
I remind myself that something I thought I wanted, maybe just wasn’t meant to be and in fact, many times that rejection ends up being a blessing in disguise. I look back at some of the pivotal points in my life, where I took a different direction after things didn’t work out. Almost every time, a low point prompted me to make a shift, it led to something extremely rewarding.
I tell myself that “playing it safe” is in fact very risky. If I don’t try, then it’s a given that I won’t succeed. So, while “playing it safe” may seem like it can eliminate rejection – it can also eliminate feelings of accomplishment and maybe even self-worth.
I talk about my rejections, rather than pretend that everything in my life is roses. In fact I have found in writing this blog over the past few years that the most popular posts have had the word “mistake” in the title. Why is that? Because, we humans seem to take comfort in the fact that we aren’t the only ones getting rejected. Misery loves company. Ask any successful person how many times things didn’t go their way. You’ll find out more times than not.
I take comfort in the ones I love and who love me. They get me through it every time and I’m grateful for those people in my life.

Rejection comes with living a life fully and I tell myself that every time I want to throw in the towel and give up on my dreams. I want to live every day as if it were my last and if it comes with heartache and rejection, I’ll remind myself that it makes the “hits” that much sweeter.

January 13, 2012

How to be a More Interesting Person

I came across one of the best blog posts I’ve ever read this past week on Forbes.com. But before you jump off to that link, I’d like to share some of my thoughts-about what makes some people interesting – and some not.

Talk to people outside your inner circles – I found when I was a student at Brooks Institute, I was frequently bored at the student/photographer parties because all the conversations centered around just photography. It was a natural topic for discussion but the talk was always about gear and rarely about creative ideas. I found more stimulating conversations outside my peer group which actually helped me creatively with my photography.
Be a better listener. Have you ever had dinner with someone who commanded most of the conversation but followed up later with a note telling you what a great evening they had in your company? People love to hear themselves talk and for many – great listeners become “interesting people” in the process.
Do things and go places where interesting people hang out. Get out of the house and away from your TV set and interact with people from all walks of life. I’ve spent a lifetime street shooting for magazines. My most memorable conversations have been with people I’ve encountered along the way. These are people who I never would have interacted with normally but those are the conversations that have stayed with me over the years.
Be yourself. So many people do things to “fit in”. They become clones of their environment rather than staying true to themselves. There is nothing interesting about people like that for me. That’s why I travel and embrace other cultures.
Minimize the swagger. This one is right off the Forbes list but it’s a good one. No one likes being around folks who are full of themselves and have big egos. Some groups of people are more prone to this than others – generally people who come from professions where they feel what they do for a living has life or death consequences. Doctors are really the only ones dealing with life or death situations – and quite honestly a lot of doctors I’ve met aren’t very interesting to talk to because many are so self important, they let their egos get in the way.

I hate to make broad strokes but I find artists, filmmakers, musicians, taxi drivers, doormen (and women) and circus people some of the more interesting people to be around.
Get out more – live life fully – try new things – talk to more people and people who aren’t like you at all – be open – be giving – be caring – share – and embrace life every day with joy.

But check out the Forbes.com post – it’s an easy read and will bring a smile to your face.

December 30, 2011

Closing Thoughts and Best of Best

It’s been a very full year for me. I mean that in every sense of the word full – full of new experiences, full of hope, full of achievements – but also full of my share of rejections and disappointments. I’ve shared a lot of these experiences through this blog.

There have been times I haven’t written in a while because I didn’t feel like I’ve had anything worthwhile to say. And there have been times when I did write but I probably shouldn’t have because it wasn’t worth reading. I always told myself that when I didn’t feel like writing in my blog, that I just wouldn’t do it. So if there are long periods of time when I haven’t posted a new entry – it’s because for whatever reason, the desire may not be there. I have always appreciated the comments and feedback.

Here are the top 5 posts as far as number of hits:

My DSLR Kit for a Three-Month Road Trip

Gearing Up With HD DSLR’s

Standing on a 10-Foot Frozen Wave

Putting Together a DSLR Video Kit – and Why

Cultural Context and Photography

As you can see, the blogs about DSLR (for video) gear is where the interest was. But I’d have to say that out of those 5 posts, “Standing on a 10 Foot Frozen Wave” was my favorite. For me, it’s all about the story. And as Orson Welles once said “If you want a happy ending, it depends on where you stop the story”.

Happy New Year everyone.

December 28, 2011

Happy New Day

This is the time of year when we look back at our past year – our ups, our downs and everything in between. And we all pretty much look forward with optimism for a better year ahead – making pledges to ourselves with good intentions, to do better or be better in the New Year.

But what happens when you break the pledge that you made to yourself early in the year? Many of us tend to feel that we’ve somehow failed if we don’t live up to our own expectations with our yearly resolutions. Some of us think it’s better not to even make resolutions or have any expectations.

As for me, I look at every day as a new day rather than limit my aspirations to an annual event.

Times Square, New Years Eve, NYC — Times Square

Every day that I wake up is a “fresh start” for me. Any given day comes with the hope of possibilities. Anything can happen, especially if I open my mind to that way of thinking. Rather than pledge every New Year’s Eve that next year will be better – I tell myself every day that the yesterday is gone, and I don’t know if there will be a tomorrow, so all I have is the now.

I do know that I’ve grown personally this past year. I have learned to quiet my mind and in doing so I have gotten more in touch with myself. I question myself as to why I think I may want to do something. If the answers are mostly ego driven – I dismiss the notion. The more I get in touch with who I am and listen to my own voice, the more I have to give. I have opened my heart with no expectations in return but have been richly rewarded by doing so.

I wish I had learned all that I learned this past year, a long time ago. But everything has its own time and I needed to get through all those days along the way. That’s what makes life worth living.

Here’s to every new day.

December 26, 2011

It’s a Wonderful Life

We have a holiday tradition in our family. Every Christmas Eve we watch the classic Capra movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” No matter how many times I have seen it – I cry every time at the end when George Bailey, Jimmy Stewart’s character, opens a book that is inscribed “no man is a failure who has friends.” The movie is about George Bailey a frustrated but compassionate businessman following in the footsteps of his father. He runs a small building and loan company, barely making a profit, but making it possible for his customers – his friends and neighbors – to get a home.

There’s a crisis in the film where George wants to end his life. An angel comes to him and shows him what it would have been like if he had never been born. That’s when George realizes how much his life has affected the lives of others and what a rich life he really has.

I think we all tend to forget how our lives affect the lives of others. In the things we say. In the things left unsaid. Often times we don’t even realize how we affect others because we are too narrowly focused on ourselves and only see our own perspective. Many times, our perspective might not be what’s really happening at all. The funny thing is that you never really know how your life has affected another’s unless they tell you – and most people don’t.

Every so often when I get frustrated by people’s actions, I remind myself that those very things that people do that make me feel bad or angry or sad – are the human imperfections that make life what it is. I remind myself that my imperfections and actions have an affect on others as well.

Every now and then, I’ll get an email or a Facebook message where somebody lets me know that I affected them in a positive way. It’s usually very something simple that I did or said, but it makes me feel good to hear that I made someone else’s life a little bit better.

Our world has changed a lot since Capra made this movie in 1946. A “friend” has taken on a different meaning – certainly a broader as we communicate globally with ease. But ultimately people are people with the basic human need of wanting to be loved and to know that someone cares about them. When we begin to understand that – it is what we do for others that brings the most rewards to our own life – then it really is a wonderful life.

December 22, 2011

A Solo Act

Video is very much a collaborative effort, and that’s exactly what I love about it. I’ve made some wonderful connections and partnerships while creating my documentary, Opening Our Eyes.

But every now and then, I find that I need to go “solo”. I am a storyteller and a bit of a wanderer by heart and it had led to an interesting life – a life full of people, cultures and far flung destinations around the world. I have found that when I travel solo, I become more absorbed into the culture of where I am. I have no one with me to distract me or draw my attention away.

I’ve spent many years, traveling, observing and shooting stories for magazines all over the globe. In looking at my old work or even when editing new work, I’ve noticed a similarity in “feeling” among many of my images. There’s a quiet contemplative mood that shows through. In my people photos this “mood” is apparent in the connection that I make with my subjects – whether in a posed or candid photo. With my landscapes there’s more of a serene, yet melancholy moment.

I’ve come to realize that this “feeling” in many of my still images come my perspective as an”individual” who is solo when shooting. I can always tell which images I’ve shot when I’ve been by myself as opposed to those shot when traveling with a group. It’s hard to put into words, but when I’m alone and I’m exploring, I shoot differently. I see differently. I interact differently and people react differently to me.

So, I will always make room for both ways of working in my life – collaboratively and as a solo act. Each one brings its own rewards into my life and to my craft.

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