Abandoned Expectations

Have you had any lately?  Expectations that you may have had – pinned your hopes on and had to abandon?  I have had to let go of more than a few hopes, dreams, and desires over this past month alone.  My struggles seem to always come in cycles and there are some days when it seems like I’d be better off not having any hopes and dreams at all. Those dark days are tough and tax everything I have and am, but I try to remind myself of one very important thing – and that is – that all this “bad stuff” has to happen in order for me to grow and be the person I am meant to be.

If you are like me (and many creative people are) the passions inside of you can act like a double-edged sword.  They can move you up and down on a roller coaster of emotions and wreak havoc inside your head. But rather than succumb and be a victim to those emotions, I try to channel them into something more positive and productive.  Writing helps me a lot. Just trying to articulate how I’m feeling, seems to move me through whatever it is I’m struggling with.

I imagine that most people who may be reading this are creatives, and have had their share of “strawberry days” and “onion days”.  Strawberry days that are so sweet and onion days where you just want to break down and cry. But maybe that’s just how it should be – because that means that you are “feeling” and “trying” – both essential ingredients for personal growth.  I know that my onion days make my strawberry days that much sweeter.  I also know that every successful person has had more failures than triumphs along the way.  Its just part of the process.

So, here are a few things that I do when I hit a string of onion days:

  • I remind myself that those days will pass and there will be better days because of them.
  • I reach out to my friends.  Your true friends will be the ones who are listening.
  • I tell myself that everything happens for a reason in order to get me to where I need to be.
  • I walk.
  • I meditate.
  • I think about everything I have that I’m grateful for.
  • I think about others and I try to help them with their own challenges.
  • I find something to love about who I am.
  • I seek to understand others.
  • I carry on and do the dance I was meant to do.
  • And I listen to music.

With that said I’ll leave you with some wise words (lyrics) from Jackson Browne:

From For a Dancer:

Keep a fire for the human race.
Let your prayers go drifting into space.
You never know what will be coming down
Perhaps a better world is drawing near
And just as easily it could all disappear.
Along with whatever meaning you might have found
Don’t let the uncertainly turn you around
(the world keeps turning around and around)
Go on and make a joyful sound

Into a dancer you have grown
From a seed somebody else has thrown
Go on ahead and throw some seeds of your own
And somewhere between the time you arrive
And the time you go
May lie a reason you were alive
But you’ll never know

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