My grandmother on a motorcycle. circa 1920’s or ’30’s.
Have you ever talked yourself out of doing something that you felt passionate about?
Have you ever bought into others’ advice, even though it was contrary to your own beliefs?
If you answered yes to either question then you are like most of us humans, and you second-guess yourself by buying into your fears.
Now ask yourself – Did anything good ever come out of NOT doing something? Other than stopping yourself from following foolish pursuits that may have put you in harms way, stopping yourself probably never led to a positive outcome. In my experience whenever I stopped myself from following my own instincts, it not only didn’t move me forward – it set me back.
So, why do we let resistance keep us from what we are meant to do? It’s fear of the unknown. And why do we let others’ resistance and fears stop us from taking a leap of faith? Can other people predict the outcome anymore than we can? Just because something didn’t work for someone else doesn’t mean it won’t work for you or me. There just are too many variables that play a part in whether someone succeeds or fails.
I’ll make one prediction – If you stop yourself from pursuing your big idea or even your small idea – it won’t happen.
So why are you letting resistance rule your life? That’s just plain stupid.
Watch this and then ask yourself – what are you waiting for?
I read an interesting blog post “On Real Photographers” by David duChemin recently. He talks about growing weary of the photographers’ complaints that “now everyone has a camera and suddenly everyone’s a photographer”.
My first experiences of being part of a group of my peers did not go well. My memories of being in school are mostly filled with my efforts to fit in, and the efforts of others to keep me out. The new kid. The smaller kid. The kid with the funny name. So I come honestly by my desire to see others included.
So when I hear people complain that “now everyone has a camera and suddenly everyone’s a photographer” I hear the same old, fear-driven, mean-spirited, zeitgeist of the schoolyard.
The same craft, beautiful for it’s democratic nature, that admitted you, and admitted me, will admit others. And with the same tools we picked up with such wonder, those others will make photographs. That’s what cameras do. And it’s what people who own them do. And they will, in that moment, become photographers: makers of photographs.
They are not faux-tographers. They are not necessarily “just camera-owners”. Neither are they DSLR-monkeys, or whatever other pejorative seems clever at the time. Shame on you. Shame on us as an industry.”
Gail shooting her feature documentary “Opening Our Eyes” at the Kopila Valley Primary School, Surkhet, Nepal
It hit home. As the perennial “new kid” (moving 11 times before I graduated from high school), being one of only six women when I attended Brooks Institute and now being dismissed or frequently feeling invisible because of my age, I’ve personally faced a lifetime of the “same old, fear-driven, mean-spirited, zeitgeist of the schoolyard.”
I despise our seemingly human need for “definitions and categories” and placing people into boxes defined by gender, age, race or religion. So I question why do we determine the creative value of photographers based on whether they are “professionals” or “amateurs” or if photography is their sole means of making a living? It’s exclusionary and judgmental based on fear and the notion that someone has to be excluded for the rest of us to win. This attitude has no business in a creative business because creativity has no boundaries dictated by “who’s in” or “who’s not”.
I have always been more interested in the power of what a good photograph or film can do – not who created it and what box that creator fits into. I’m interested in the story one has to tell. We are visual communicators and we are all unique but only if we listen to our own voice and create from that voice. Whenever I have trusted and listened to my internal voice and created from my own unique perspective and my life’s experiences, I have been “on purpose” and my work has resonated across genders, race and age. I suppose I could copy or mimic the “style du jour” whether it is HDR or photographing hipsters with tattoos and attempt to be someone I’m not. I don’t have the desire to do that because that is not why I became a photographer or filmmaker. That’s not to say that I don’t like and appreciate photographers who are following these styles but it’s not me and creativity doesn’t come from mimicking others. I’ve seen a lot of styles and techniques over the decades I’ve been in the photo business. They come and they go – just like the photographers who chase after the latest trend.
David states so eloquently:
‘Our categories are useless. Harmful, even. They separate us. They keep us siloed and cut off from generosity and openness and collaboration. They keep us focused on our own “qualifications” and not on the audiences and markets we should be finding new ways to serve, to inspire, to connect with. Our scarcity mentality is hurting us. It’s stopping us from being creative about making a living. The world owes us nothing, which is hard to accept when we’ve paid for a degree, invested in gear, or bought business cards, only to find out the universe doesn’t give a damn, and cares only about what value we bring.’
I too am weary of the blame, the finger pointing and all the stupid human tricks based on fear, and the notion that someone has to lose in order for me to win, because ultimately that comes from a place of insecurity and ego and rarely does that produce something of value. I don’t need a license that proclaims I’m a professional or feel the need to hide my age in order to compete. My value comes from a lifetime of experiences that made me who I am. If I choose to allow someone to define who I am or what I am capable of, or allow myself to be stopped by the naysayers, then I only have myself to blame.
It would have been so much easier to quit or stop myself every time someone threw roadblocks in my way based on their own notions of “what’s in” or “what’s not” and that would have led to an empty life. I chose instead to follow my heart and my convictions and accept the rejections that ultimately come when one faces their fears and stays true to who they are. It has never been easy but I’ve never sought easy. I’ve too busy living a full and rich life, using my craft to create awareness, impact social change or just to bring a smile to someone’s face and create a memory.
Grow or die – My good friend and coach Ian Summers coined that phrase. He also taught me that growth requires a temporary surrender of security.
Be yourself – There’s a great quote – “be yourself because everyone else is taken” Many folks say that you need to have your own vision but I really don’t like this phrase because it is overused and is not really specific or clear – to the point that most of us get frustrated if we don’t feel we have “a vision”. Your gut will let you know when you’re “on purpose”.
Don’t operate in a vacuum – Photographers are independent creatures for the most part. Take joy in collaborating and/or networking. Expand your networks to include all types of folks – not just your fellow photographers. This is how and where ideas are born.
Don’t focus on the gear – I get weary of people asking me about my gear or the age old question “Does that camera take good pictures?” – to which I reply “It depends on the operator.”
Embrace failure – Or at least don’t let your fear of failure stop you. Try instead asking yourself “what’s the worst thing that could happen?” Let’s face it, we don’t do brain surgery, so for the most part, our fears don’t involve fatalities.
Do the work – I believe it was Malcolm Gladwell who said that it took 10,000 hours to get good at something. If you want to sustain a long career in any career, be prepared to do the work to get good at it.
Get rid of the resistance – It’s really easy to give yourself lots of seemingly logical reasons why NOT to do something. Try replacing your reasons NOT to do something, with why you SHOULD. Get rid of the people in your life that are giving you resistance – they’re poison. Read more about resistance in Steven Pressfield’s The War of Art.
Don’t set out to prove yourself – Instead strive to improve. This attitude is ultimately more beneficial and leads to better self esteem. It’s also not dependent on someone else’s validation or approval.
Enjoy the good times – but be prepared for the bad times. Nothing stays the same – ever. Don’t let those glory days mislead you or your ego. There are always competitors waiting in the wings.
Keep your passion and enthusiasm – If you don’t, you’ll never survive this business. And if you have to ask “should I be a professional photographer or practice law?” I would have to answer – “practice law”. If you have to ask that question, it’s an indication that the passion isn’t there.
I came across this old “tear sheet” in the process of cleaning out the attic. Tom and I have dozens of boxes containing over 35 years of printed collateral with our “work” in it.
Tom Kelly and Gail Mooney
This brochure cover was from a shoot for I Love NY. Clearly it was a low budget job, based on the fact that we were also the “talent” in our own photograph. When this photo was shot, we were just starting out in the business of photography. It’s hard to believe that it’s been over 35 years since we started Kelly/Mooney Photography, because it seems like yesterday. As I sifted through decades of work, I started thinking – “What is it that sustains a career?”
Some thoughts:
Don’t let age define you. Let’s face it; we’re a youth obsessed culture. It’s not easy getting older, especially when you’re in a creative business like photography where “fresh” is equated with “young”. But there’s absolutely nothing you can do about your age. You can’t change it. It’s like your height – it is what it is. But you can choose how you think about it. If you tell yourself that you’re old – you will be.
Take more risks – not less. Why not? What is the worst that could happen? Am I the only one who thinks this way? I guess I was lucky that my mom and dad put those types of thoughts in my head a long time ago and they’ve served me well. Why should I change my outlook now, when I have fewer years on the planet?
You’ll fail more than you succeed. I sure have. In the last couple of years I’ve been rejected more times than not, but only because I have been challenging myself more than at any other time in my career. I have always “been on the move” in my life and my career and I am not one to stay too complacent or static. There are just too many things left to explore.
Fear comes with the territory.Fear is what motivated me to start writing. For me fear would often visit in the wee small hours of the morning. My mind would bounce from one unfounded worry to another and I couldn’t turn off the chaos in my head. So rather than toss and turn for hours, I got out of bed and started to write down my thoughts. It’s amazing how trivial some of the worries looked in the light of the day, written on a sheet of paper.
Listen to the ideas that don’t go away. We all have ideas. But how many of us act on them? Less than 5%. When I have an idea that just won’t “quit me”, I take action. The first thing I do is I commit to the idea. Then I tell someone – someone I respect, because then I have to carry it out – just to save face. I call it forced accountability.
Don’t take things for granted. Nothing stays the same or lasts forever. Be grateful for your loyal clients and show your gratitude. Business is all about relationships and it is amazing how people seem to pop in and out of your life. Doors are always closing and windows are eternally opening in a well-lived life. Recognize those times when they happen.
Always wonder. My spirit has not aged past 25 years old. I still have dreams and they are vivid and real in my mind. My dreams are propelled by my insatiable curiosity about everything. Many years ago I made the choice to become a professional photographer because I knew that my camera would give me access to a rich and rewarding life and to interesting people, places and cultures. My cameras (“my tools”) are still a means to a life of wonderment.
“Resistance is fueled by fear. Resistance has no strength of its own. Every ounce of juice it possesses comes from us. We feed it with power by our fear of it. Master that fear and we conquer Resistance.”
Resistance manifests itself in many ways. Most of us do everything we can, not to recognize the “resistance” in our own lives. We plod along through life, just trying to maintain the status quo of our daily existence and habits, that we never “see” the sharp reefs buried beneath the surface of our relationships, our careers or how we are living our life. We don’t see the reefs, because we don’t want to. We think it’s easier to live a life of denial and that’s exactly what resistance wants.
Misery loves company. Somehow, it makes us feel better about ourselves, when we compare ourselves to other under achievers, procrastinators, people down on their luck or just ordinary people who are extremely unhappy. Essentially, people who don’t take control of their lives, but rather blame circumstances or others. These people are victims of resistance.
There’s a saying “When a door closes – a window opens”. I’ve always been one to focus on the “open window”, rather than the “closed door” but it’s not easy. Any time I’ve had a shift in my life, or a “door closed”, my first instincts are to curl up in a ball, bury my head in the covers, admit failure and give up – or give in to resistance. But I know that if I succumb to those instincts, I won’t even notice the windows that have opened. The funny thing is, most times, those windows were always open – I just never saw them.
I try to recognize those open windows in my life, but in order to do that, I need to battle resistance. That may mean, closing some doors myself.
A few weeks ago, I attended the World Domination Summit in Portland, OR. Any time I‘ve mentioned this conference to my friends, their eyes get wide and they all want to know more about it. Essentially, WDS is a worldwide gathering of creative, unconventional people who want to live a remarkable life in a conventional world.
This was my second time attending WDS and I was inspired, enlightened, invigorated and awed by the speakers like Jonathan Fields, Nancy Duarte, Tess Vigeland, Chase Jarvis and many others. There was one speaker Jia Jiang that really resonated with me. He talked about his 100-day “rejection therapy” project. You can watch Jia’s talk online. He must have struck a chord with a lot of other people as well, because he brought the house down.
I’m certainly not a stranger to knowing what rejection feels like. The last two years of my life I have been rejected more times than I have probably in my entire life. It’s not that I’ve been seeking ways to get rejected. It’s because I’ve pushed myself into new and foreign territories – I mean that both literally and figuratively. For example, I challenged myself in my career by producing a big film project that literally took me around the world. But when I think about the “journey” part and the production of that film, it pales compared to the hard work, time, blood, sweat and plenty of tears on getting the film seen. I got scads of rejection letters and emails from film festivals, distributors and agents but most outsiders see only my successes.
When I heard Jia talk about his rejections that led to his “rejection therapy”, I understood exactly how he felt. In a way, I’ve lived my life like Jia’s rejection therapy. But, it wasn’t because I set out to heal myself from some missteps and misses that didn’t work out for me. As I look back at some of the things that I’ve done in my life, I realize now that I was simply naively bold enough to do them.
I can’t really say that I have ever gotten used to rejection. It continues to hit me hard at times. But when that happens, I stop and I think about all the wonderful and crazy things that I’ve done in my life that never would have happened if I had let my past rejections stop me. I suppose I’m like one of those blow up punching bags that keeps popping back up.
One Fear illustration from Book of Fears (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
We are taught from an early age to conform. Think about it. Schools emphasize conformity with rules, regulations and a system built on recitation and memorization. We are told there are two types of answers – “right” and “wrong” ones. I suppose when speaking about math and science, it could be stated that there are only two types of answers or conclusions – it’s either right or wrong. But is that true? Are there really only two types of answers? Or is that merely a mechanism that makes it easier to grade tests and papers?
Is it any wonder that we are programmed from an early age NOT to be innovative or creative with our thinking? Is it any wonder that we are afraid or fearful to take a leap and question something? But what are we afraid of? Essentially, we are afraid to be wrong. We are afraid to fail. So what do we do? We let our fear stop us and in doing so we stifle creativity and innovation.
We have been trained to obey rules, comply, sit and stand in an orderly fashion, “don’t rock the boat”, “be a good soldier”, and in the process we stifle innovation and growth. The problem is that “system” left over from the industrial age doesn’t work anymore. The world has changed. These days, people are entering a “workforce” that is no longer contained within geographic boundaries with an established set of rules and controls. It’s out of our control. Wow, that’s enough to make anyone afraid.
So, what do most people do when their world is changing and they are scared to death? Sadly, they tend to desperately hold onto a system that is broken and no longer serves them well. They spend enormous amounts of energy defending this broken system from the past because it’s all they know.
We can either succumb to change, and merely react to it little by little over time, until there isn’t much left of a life we once knew, or we can face our fears and take responsibility for our lives. In order to do that, we need to change our outlook and identify what it is we are really afraid of. Ironically, what most of us fear is failing, so in an effort to protect ourselves from this fear – we ultimately fail because we end up with a life that brings few rewards.
I went to my town meeting last night. It was a typical “town meeting” where everyone needed to be “right”, and no one was winning. A citizen came up to the mic during the public hearing session and made a statement that really resonated with me. He said “ No one ever wants to change the status quo It’s human nature not to want change. Everyone has their little power centers that they want to hold onto”.
I had a flashback that brought me back to a smoke filled room of dirty dishes with leftover remnants of brown rice and a whole lot of people having the same old discussion of how we all needed to stop “ the War” and change the world. That was almost 40 years ago but I’ll remember like it was yesterday when a “freak” came in and said “Why doesn’t somebody f……. do something? You’re all just sitting around and talking – like the status quo”
To be honest, I don’t think there is a status quo. Nothing ever stays the same. You either move forward or drop back, but there is no stepping in place. It’s not sustainable. And that’s nothing new – it’s always been true – but never more than today due to the exponential rise in technology. And it has never been more true in regards to the state of the photographic industry. I see so many photographers paralyzed by their own fears of taking a risk and thinking outside their own boxes.
Few people overcome their fear of change and rise to the occasion of “doing something” as opposed to reacting to something. Most plod along, feeling no control over their destiny – letting fate take its course. A lot of photographers are just hoping to “ride it out” until there is nothing left of their businesses.
Every once in a while, somebody makes a bold move and looks at “change” as an opportunity. History proves me right. If you look back through time, you will see a pattern. At the most pivotal times of change – the cream always rises to the top – and the sludge gets left behind – on the bottom.
As far as the photography industry – I think it’s time to decide if we are ready to “embrace” change and rise to the top or die a slow death. But we have to start seeing the opportunities that always come with change.
Which is it? Which one of these paradigms rules your own behavior? If you are like me, then it’s a little bit of both.
Lately, I think I’ve been leaning more toward fearing success – than failing. I don’t usually contemplate my fears – most times, rushing into the unknown like a young child. I think that’s my inner voice that is calling and I blindly follow. And when I do follow, good things happen. And that’s when I start to get afraid.
Odd isn’t it – being afraid when things are going as I planned, even as I dreamed. I guess for me, fearing success stems from my own lack of self-confidence and questioning myself “Am I deserving of these good things that are happening in my life?
If I stop and think about it – that it was my hard work that led to those “good things” – then I’m OK. But when hard work comes from a place of passion, deep within me, I lose sight that it is work at all. Sure, there are days when things overwhelm me and days when everything I do seems to “fail”, but mostly my work is my joy.
The only thing I really fear is to wake up one day and not feel joy in what I’m doing. I hope that if that happens, I face my fears and change things.
Parents do it to their children. Spouses do it to one another with ultimatums. Rulers rule by scaring their constituents. But guess what? It doesn’t work.
Children rebel. Spouses start to despise one another for killing each other’s dreams. And rulers get overthrown.
Two years ago my daughter graduated from college. I saw her wince every time an “adult” asked her the usual questions: What are you going to do now? Did you get a job? Are you going to grad school? Pity the kids graduating in today’s economy if they were brought up based on fear. Pre-conditioning young minds to follow the same unhappy path that we may have taken – for the sake of making a lot of money.
Thankfully, people are starting to question the notion of what constitutes success. College grads have tens of thousands of dollars in loans that they can’t pay back and on top of that their parents are 50 plus and out of jobs because they are too costly to employ.
What a pity – not utilizing the potential workforce. What a pity squashing innovation from the start. What a pity not to recognize opportunities – just because they are “different”. What a pity to live a life based on fear.
Maybe it’s time we all should start thinking about things differently.
Journeys of a Hybrid 