karma – Journeys of a Hybrid

Have you ever had a colleague or competitor try to marginalize you or bad mouth you in an effort to discredit you for his or her own personal gain? I’ve had it happen to me a few times and the one thing I’ve learned is that ultimately this type of negative behavior does more harm to the person who’s doing the “trash talking” more than the person on the receiving end.

At one point in my career I found myself competing with the same person on almost every job I was bidding on. I heard about it one day from the potential client who had put out the bid. Apparently, my colleague thought that if they discredited me, they would get the job. But it doesn’t work that way. What people don’t realize is that even though they may be successful in knocking out their competition, that doesn’t mean that they will get the job. What usually happens is they don’t and they end up making themselves look bad.

If this should happen to you in any areas of your life, here are some ways to deal with it:

Ignore them and let their negative behavior roll off your shoulders. I tell myself that it’s not my business what other’s think of me. It’s usually a reflection of their own anger and anger is a manifestation of their fears.
Misery loves company so negative people only get the ear of other negative people. This is not a crowd I want to belong to because sooner or later these folks will turn on each other. I’ve seen it happen hundreds of times.
I remind myself that someone doesn’t have to lose for me to win. That keeps me focused on what I’m doing instead of what everyone else is doing. As Mark Twain once said, “Comparison is the death of joy”.
Focus on who you are and what you are all about. Stay true to yourself and put your energy into telling the story you are here to tell. There is only one you. Maximize your potential and minimize the external petty bullshit in your life.
Be optimistic. Take down the walls and replace them with windows. Find other kindred spirits and join forces with them to inspire and motivate others. Pay no attention to the detractors who only want to control and destroy. Karma will take care of them – it always does.

I live in a very small town. In the recent election, we had a hotly contested seat for the board of education. One candidate ran a very negative campaign, focusing on discrediting his opponent who was better qualified for the job. I thought for sure the guy doing all the trash talking would win, but he didn’t. I guess I underestimated the citizens of my town. They chose the right candidate, the one who took the high road, and karma prevailed.

I had an awesome night last night. My husband and I had tickets to a Jackson Browne concert. The seats were way up in the up most reaches of an old theater in New Brunswick, NJ. They weren’t great tickets, but nevertheless, they were tickets to a concert by Jackson Browne, my favorite singer/songwriter.

During intermission, a guy, who had climbed four extremely steep flights of steps, walked into the “gallery” and announced that he had one available ticket in the third row and asked “Does anybody want it?” After a minute of trying to comprehend what the man had said, I spoke up and said “I’ll take it” and then asked “Is it really in the third row?. He confirmed, and then I asked my husband “you don’t mind do you?, gave him a kiss and flew down to my “new” seat.

It was an amazing night, to sit so close and be able to see and feel the music. Jackson is one of the most intimate and real songwriters around and I got totally absorbed into his performance. I thought about my stroke of luck in getting that seat. I thought perhaps my luck was changing after a very “trying” month. It was like a karmic blessing.

As I watched and listened to Jackson, I saw an artist whose talents and music have endured the test of time. His topics and lyrics are just as relevant as they were when I first started following him, some 40 years ago. That’s because he writes about the human experience – the triumphs and the failures that we all have. He strikes a nerve with his truth and honesty. Some say his music defines a generation. Perhaps. But Jackson’s music certainly defines who he is. He’s about as authentic as you can be.

Jackson inspires me to create from my true self and do the work that I am meant to do. He also inspires me to be a better person. After his encore, he waved to the audience and said, “Be good to each other”. That said it all.

From The Pretender, by Jackson Browne

I want to know what became of the changes
We waited for love to bring
Were they only the fitful dreams
Of some greater awakening
I’ve been aware of the time going by
They say in the end it’s the wink of an eye
And when the morning light comes streaming in
You’ll get up and do it again
Amen