personal – Journeys of a Hybrid

April 28, 2020April 29, 2020

If You Want a Happy Ending…..

My favorite quote is by Orson Welles; “If you want a happy ending, it depends on where you stop the story”. No doubt he was giving this advice to other filmmakers and storytellers, but I remind myself daily that it has tremendous influence on how I want to I live my life and that has helped form my personal story or my legacy. It can be easy to understand the philosophy behind that quote, but much Happy more difficult to apply. But, it has enabled me (to paraphrase my good friend Sky’s film title) to live a life well lived.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking these days because I’ve been holed up for a month like the rest of us. That can be a good thing and a bad thing, but in my case it has been beneficial. It’s made me hit a big “pause button” and I think that was the universe giving me a message that was probably there all the time, but I wasn’t listening. As John Lennon wrote, “life is what’s happening while you’re busy making other plans”.

At the time that most of my “neighbors” in NYC and NJ and beyond went into quarantine, I had already been in self-isolation for two months editing my latest feature documentary Like A Woman – a film about women who are working in male-dominated professions – because it was a topic I knew quite well. For the majority of my career, I have been the only woman at the table. So, I wanted to use my storytelling skills to create awareness and make the change that I wanted to happen. As spring was right around the corner in NJ and I was ready to release my film – the world changed, not just for me for everyone and it is forever changed. It sucks, but it wasn’t the first time in my life that I had to switch gears and it has never been easy for me in my profession, because I a woman I had to try harder.

Anyone who knows me, knows I’m not the easiest person to know but I’d like to think I’m worth it. I’m a glass half full (at least) kind of person. I have to believe in possibilities to be able to survive. I have to have hope and something to look forward to. With that said, after procrastinating for two weeks and really doing absolutely nothing, I made a list this morning of things I CAN do. Here are a few things I wrote down:

Like A Woman – I hope to hire a musical composer to create a score for the film. It will make it more powerful and have more impact. More importantly, I have decided not to proceed with entering the film into film festivals. It’s just bad timing and maybe that’s a blessing in disguise. Thanks to Travis Keyes and Katrin Eisman for their encouragement and that was desperately needed. I always thrive on encouragement but I can honestly say, I really need it now. They reminded me that “content” was golden these days and it’s being consumed like never before. So, I will let go of the film festivals because I sense that’s not the approach I need to take. Instead, I will pursue offering screenings (for a fee) for conferences centered on women and young girls. No doubt these conferences will be virtual for a while and I am able to stream the film and even set up a virtual Q&A via platforms like Zoom. And the film will actually have the ability to reach more people. I suppose one could say that I put my ego aside, that is customarily stroked with the film festivals and have put my emphasis on getting the film “out there” to inspire women and girls who need a lot of inspiration these days. And the stories of the amazing women who are in my film will surely inspire, which is the ultimately goal of this film.

And the film will have the ability to reach more people. As far as marketing this new film to the conference planners, I am extremely fortunate to have some prestigious credentials with my last film Opening Our Eyes.If, you’d like to see the full film, you can see it here.

There is one film festival that I will still pursue to get in

to and that is the Santa Barbara Film Festival that hopefully will take place in January 2021. I will always have a close connection to Santa Barbara because that’s where it all started for me, at least as far as my career. After a yearlong backpacking odyssey around the world, I drove to Santa Barbara from New Jersey and attended Brooks Institute. As one of six women in a school of 600 at the time, it was my first experience in a male-dominated environment. It’s where I met my husband, Tom Kelly. And it’s where some of my best memories were made and I’ve have been blessed with decades of unbelievable memories and experiences since then. My years in Santa Barbara were my foundation.

Conteur Productions – I started this side business a long time ago. It was my first venture into the retail world. We shoot family story movies. We capture one’s family stories through interviews with their loved ones, while they are still here to tell those stories. We then scan their priceless family photos

Groleau children at school, Upper Peninsula, Michigan

and digital their old family movies and/or videos, along with newspaper clippings and other documented mementos and make a “Ken Burns” type film to preserve those memories for future generations. It all began when my mother passed away and I realized that I would never hear those family stories that she told around the dinner table and her infectious giggle as she told them. It also led to me discovering a part of the family I never knew about – but that’s a story for another time.

This pandemic has also made me realize that when things get back to a new semblance of normal, there will be a real desire for this service. But, it will also be different. I will probably do more remote interviews via Skype or Zoom, rather than get on a plane and have face-to-face interviews with people wearing masks. I know that I can get a more professional product with a well lit and professionally shot interview with good audio. But, I also know that we have all gotten used to a new aesthetic with Zoom conferences and news reporters broadcasting from their home studios.

I know this blog is long but I want to thank everyone who has always believed in me, the ones who give me a call when I seem to need it most and my real friends and FB friends who have helped to fill this current void in my life and to Tony Bennett for his beautiful song Smile which has helped me through some dark days. I want to leave you with some wise words from my 93 year old Aunt and I hope it helps you as much as it has helped me.

Q: You lost a child when she was 27 years old to cancer. What advice do you have for parents who have lost a child? (I will include all the people who have lost their loved ones during this Pandemic)

Let the tears flow, let it all out. Feel all the pain. I cried for four years straight. I cried for her son who wouldn’t have his mother. Before that, I never felt old in my life. But I felt old when Patty died. I was 52 when that happened.

Q: You raised seven children and they all get along, how did you accomplish that?

We traveled from base to base and they got along because they needed each other. I also kept family traditions. We ate every breakfast and every dinner together. We accepted each other for who we were that day. And whatever you earned, that was yours. I let them fight. That’s where you’re supposed to fight – with your family. That’s where you learn to adjust to the real world. I never killed their curiosity. Kids want to come to you – not the other way around. No one is short on love.

Q: Last words?

What women can’t do physically, we can figure out mentally. Most difficulties aren’t catastrophes.

Here’s a snippet of my family and where I come from and I’m so very lucky.

Hang in there everybody and stay on the side of the glass half full.

May 18, 2017May 20, 2017

Top Reasons for Doing a Personal Photography Project

I have spent a lot of time purging things lately and one being my enormous collection of analog and digital images. For the most part, it became obvious that the commercial work that I had done for the money years ago, looked dated and wasn’t worth keeping. However, the images
that I shot for personal projects were timeless even though they had been shot decades ago.

I have grown weary in our youth obsessed culture that as an older creative female many times I am being dismissed – I have become invisible. I don’t say this to complain and I’m certainly not the first one to echo these sentiments, but I found that it was beginning to undermine my self-worth. As I looked through some work that I hadn’t seen in many years
I realized that I am reacting to people who are judgmental and ageist. There are two things that I can’t change – my height and my age – so I thought that it does me no good to care about others who define me and my value by my age. Rather than feel bad about the longevity of my career, I choose to tell myself that I must be doing something right to be in such a competitive business like photography all these years. The answer is that I love to create photographs and now videos – it’s something that I HAVE to do. It keeps me alive.

Regardless of where you are in your career, take the time to shoot what you care about. It’s the most important thing you can do, not only for your career but for your self-esteem.

Here’s why:

Assuming it’s an idea you are passionate about and not doing it to second guess the market – it will be a reminder of who you were then. It’s also great to put new eyes on it a second time around.
When you’re paying for it yourself, you’ll work harder. Failure is not an option because there is no failure.
There are no restrictions or mandates – the world is your oyster. If you dream it, you can probably make it happen.
Working on a personal project is great for making new contacts. You learn to be tenacious in selling your idea in order to gain access to someone or a place. It’s much harder to sell yourself and an idea when you don’t have a letter of assignment from a major magazine.
Most likely these will be the images that won’t get old even as you do.

April 25, 2017April 25, 2017

What’s the Worst Thing that Could Happen?

I was always the “new kid” in school. My family moved more than 10 times before I graduated from high school. We weren’t a military family, running from the law or in the witness protection program. My Dad was moving up the corporate ladder, our family was growing and it just set up a series of moves.

Being the perpetual “new kid” forced me to take risks every time we moved, forming new friendships, adjusting to new schools, dealing with the inconsistencies in the curriculum from school to school, and learning

gail and wagon — Me, taking a stand in the new neighborhood.

new neighborhoods and the local culture.

In my early years, I was not the one who was initiating “change” or deciding to take a risk – my parents were. Nevertheless it made me the person I am. As a child I was learning that it was OK to take chances and in fact, it was a good thing. But I also knew that we were not a “normal” family and at times I longed for a life that was less transient and more like the families I saw on TV.

I look back at my upbringing and Roller skaters jump over teammates, Tokyo, Japan I believe that the greatest gift my parents gave me was to teach me that it was OK to take chances.
And in fact when I was afraid to take a risk, I remember my Dad asking me “What’s the worst thing that could happen?” To be honest, I never really thought of anything that was all that bad.
So, is it any wonder that someone like me would opt to go around the world with my daughter, traveling to remote places on six continents, and live out of backpacks for 99 days while creating a movie?

Erin and Gail, Peru — Erin and Gail and children of village along Amazon River, Peru

I was actually going to do this by myself until I received an email from my daughter telling me that she wanted to quit her job and sublet her apartment and go with me.

At first, it surprised me when she said that she wanted to do this with me. She had only been working for a year after graduating from college and was lucky to have a job. But she was willing leave her life as she knew it, apartment, take a trip around the world for four months and face looking for employment upon her return. Then I realized I shouldn’t be surprised at all, she too had grown up with the notion that “taking a risk” was normal.

These days, I see young people growing up in a society that has been so over litigated in an attempt to make our lives more risk free that it seems like we are teaching our children NOT to take chances. Losing or failing is looked at as a bad thing and that instead everyone has to be a winner. It seems that fitting in and becoming part of the status quo is what we should strive for rather than being unique or original. The problem is, if everyone thinks and acts that way, innovation will die. No on will dare to be different.
In the last few years, I’ve probably had to face more rejections than I’ve had to over my entire career, or at least it’s seems that the way. On the other hand, I have had the most incredible experiences and successes of my life. To be honest, I’m scared to death just about every day but I grew up thinking that was normal and that came with growth. Thanks Mom and Dad for giving me the courage to spread my wings.

February 13, 2017

Why Everyone Should Travel

As I prepare to head out of the country next week I’ve been thinking about why I travel. I’ve been a bit of a rolling stone most of my life, moving 10 times before I graduated high school and pursuing a career as a professional photographer which has taken me to over 100 countries.

Gail at the Great Pyramids 1971 — Gail in Egypt 1971

I think if I ever had to give up traveling I would wither and my spirit would die.

Here are my top ten reasons that I think every American (and other citizens of the world) should travel:

It gives you a much better perspective on our world rather than just experiencing it virally. Let’s face it, when you are an armchair traveler, you are getting someone else’s perspective.
It makes one grateful for what they have. Many, if not most Americans are very privileged but don’t really have an understanding of that because they isolate themselves in their own environment.
You get to be a true diplomat for your country. When I’m traveling I try to give people from other countries and cultures a more realistic idea what an American is beyond our government’s policies and how we are depicted in the movies.
It creates lasting memories of importance or at least memories that last longer than buying a consumer product.
It teaches you a lot about yourself. When you travel things don’t always go according to plan. You get to see how you handle stress in situations beyond your control.
You learn how to communicate. Many times you don’t understand the language and you learn to read body language and pick up people’s vibes.
You meet people you would never get to meet at home. It makes you less fearful when you get to meet people from other lands.
As a photographer my camera has given me access to incredible experiences that I have shared with the world.
You can affect change.
Gail with children in small village along Amazon River, Peru

When you travel you realize that regardless which country you come from we are all part of the human race. We all share this planet and we are all stewards of keeping it healthy.
It brings wonder to your life. I have had many awe- inspiring moments and not all of them were at typical tourist sites. Some of my greatest memories are the simple conversations that I’ve had with people all around the world.

Check out some of the images that I’ve captured from my journeys. www.kellymooney.com

June 19, 2011June 19, 2011

Pick Up the Phone

Maybe because today is Father’s Day, I’m thinking about ties and connections and how much has been lost over the years in the way we have chosen to communicate with one another.

Man in phone booth, Blackpool, England — Pick up the phone and call

It’s an odd mix as far as behavior goes, in terms of how we communicate (or don’t), but regardless of whether we are communicating for business or personal – we seem to have lost the “personal” touch.

The memories I have of my Dad and others who are no longer here, are our conversations and just enjoying the dialog between the two of us. These days, it seems as if people avoid one another – even when they are in the same room together. There have been a few occasions over the last couple of months where I have been with a small group of friends and there has always been someone in the bunch – who is there in body – but not really – because they are glued to their “device” and communicating with whomever isn’t there.

Call me “old” but I just don’t get that. I’ll always opt to have a conversation with someone face to face and my second choice is always to have a conversation with him or her over the phone. Why? Because a phone conversation has interaction – in real time. Emails can be exhausting with the back and forth banter and texting is even worse because of those little keys. And of course when emails are ignored – there is no interaction – so what’s the point?

With all the options of how to communicate with everyone these days, including all the social media forums, a personal connection is still the best way as far as I’m concerned. Sure, you can’t take the time to talk to everyone on any given day, and I don’t. But there are times, that I do want to connect with someone on an individual level – without blasting it out to the world on Facebook or Twitter and without it being a one sided conversation. And when it comes to business, nothing replaces the one on one face to face or a phone call. That’s really the only way to emote your message and relay it in the manner it is meant to come across.

Today is Father’s Day. If you have a Dad who is still in your life – pick up the phone and call him because I know it will make his day. If my Dad were still alive, I would be making that call. My only regrets are the times that I put those calls off. But what I don’t remember is why I did it – the reasons couldn’t have been that important – but stupidly I rationalized they were at the time.