stories – Page 2 – Journeys of a Hybrid

April 21, 2012

Teaching Video Journalism in China

I’m sitting in the Continental (United) airport lounge at EWR, waiting to board a flight for Beijing. I’m headed to China for 4 weeks to teach Chinese journalists, video journalism. My mind is spinning with ideas, questions and the usual array of “what ifs” as I take on another adventure.

About two years ago, I started saying “yes” to opportunities that presented themselves to me – or at the very least, I began to consider opportunities, rather than to talk myself out of things, right off the bat. Because, of that mind set, I’ve been going where life seems to take me and it has presented quite a few interesting adventures. It’s not that I’m foolhardy and doing things on a whim – it’s that I have been listening to myself – my inner voice – and it has been my guiding force.

I’m told that the Chinese are hungry for “western” knowledge. But what I have to teach them is something universal, and that is – how to tell a story – using the medium of video. Seems so basic and simple – how to tell a story – and I suppose it is, but like anything else, it’s simple if you understand it. The key to understanding something is to have the desire to learn. Some people say they want to learn – but that’s different than really having the desire to learn.

Some folks feel threatened by this seemingly insatiable desire of the Chinese to learn all things western. I’m also finding that when people feel threatened by something – they try to “stop” whatever it is they are feeling threatened by. It’s one of those stupid human tricks that folks have played since the beginning of mankind. I process this behavior pattern as unproductive and unsustainable. It rarely works as far as eliminating a perceived threat. You simply can’t totally eliminate desire.

Rather than stop others from growth – a better way is to better yourself. I’d rather put my energies into where I want to go in my life – than in trying to squash other people’s hopes and dreams. I’ve also found that what goes around – comes around. When you “give” and “help” others – you ultimately create a better world – or “space” for everyone.

So, as my mind races this morning with my hopes, my expectations and enthusiasm – I try to keep the nagging doubts and fear at bay. I tell myself that it’s natural to have concerns. But I also tell myself that I can either let my concerns consume me and turn into fear or I can welcome the “unknown” and embrace the opportunity at hand. I’ll let my inner voice guide me because it seems to be doing a good job.

April 9, 2012April 11, 2012

The Love and Angst of Learning

I don’t think there has ever been a point in my life when there wasn’t something that I didn’t want to learn about. I’m just a very curious person who has an insatiable desire to learn. I’ve been learning about filmmaking over the last two years and I am addicted to learn more. I am realizing that I have always thought in a cinematic way. As a photographer, I saw my stories as films – a pagination of images – combining to form the story in my mind’s eye. I am so intrigued right now with the craft and structure of screen writing, and want to learn more. I have a story in my head that I want to “get out” and I see the visual elements playing out in my head. Now, I’m starting to “hear” the story and the words and I want to learn how to craft those elements into the beginning of a screenplay.

Last Christmas, I got the Rosetta Stone course for Spanish. When I was traveling with Erin in South America, she became my translator and I was really frustrated that I couldn’t understand the language, so I vowed to learn Spanish. I’ve been trying to squeeze in the time to learn electronically, but it’s so hard for me. Languages have always been difficult for me – even English. Really the only way to learn a language is to immerse your self into it. I try to tune into conversations when I hear Spanish being spoken and make feeble attempts to participate. Slowly, I’m getting better but I doubt I will ever be able to roll my r’s. I have found though that when I “relax” and imagine myself as someone who is fluent in the language, I do much better. The same thing happened when I was in New Zealand last fall and I got on an ATV vehicle for the first time. I just pictured myself as being one with the machine and I did just fine.

Lately, I’ve been teaching myself editing with Adobe Premiere. With Final Cut Pro going to a completely different program, I wanted to expand and learn Premiere. But, what really prompted me to learn is that I will be going to China for a month, to teach Chinese journalists how to “tell stories in motion”. I knew I needed to learn an editing application that was cross-platformed and Adobe Premiere was the obvious choice. Learning Premiere has been easy, especially with Lynda.com. I am such a big fan of Lynda.com. Of course, knowing how to edit helps. Essentially it’s not much different than Final Cut. Things are named differently, but the basics are the same. There are also a lot of things that I love, especially the easier integration with other Adobe products like After Effects, Photoshop and Bridge. Now the Adobe Suite has a screenwriting application, Story. Could that be the nudge needed to follow through on the screenplay that’s beginning to play out in my head?

So, my learning path continues. But I’m also playing my part by passing along what I know. Things have a way of coming full circle.

March 4, 2012March 4, 2012

Paying it Forward – It’s Amazing

I got the best email yesterday. It was from a young man who had attended a seminar I had given at Yale for ASMP on “Should I Be Thinking of Video”. I remember that evening well. I had recently returned from a 3-month journey circling the globe with my daughter creating a documentary on people making a positive difference in the world.
I was still very much in the same head-set that I had been for the past few months – one full of peace and belief in myself. I had just come off an intensive period where I was “walkin’ the walk” and I was practicing what I preached.

The young man, Brian, wrote, that he had attended my seminar with his father, who was a photographer and that he, himself had grown up wanting to make movies. So, my seminar was a perfect combination for them. Then Brian wrote “That night you inspired me.” My heart jumped when I read it. He went on to remind me of things that I had said that evening – about overcoming fears in order to realize your dreams – in my case traveling the world to make a movie. Leaving the known behind – for the unknown. Telling yourself “yes” instead of giving yourself reasons not to.

Brian said that he had recently landed his first job of his career as a structural engineer. He loved it, but he also had a great desire to travel. That night he went home and furiously “googled” anything about traveling the world and beyond. He came across the website of “Engineers Without Borders” and as serendipity would have it, they were having their monthly meeting that week.

To make a long, but interesting story, short, Brian went to that meeting that week, and talked with some people during a break who were organizing a trip to a village in India.

Then they invited him to go with them in February. He was astounded. And then he did the same thing many of us do in similar situations – he started giving himself every rational reason why he shouldn’t/couldn’t possibly do something like this. In Brian’s case – how could he ask his new boss for 3 weeks of time off?

That night when Brian heard me speak, was about a year and a half ago. In the email he sent to me yesterday, he talked about spending the last year editing his 15 hours of footage, down to a 40 minute piece. He told me that it hadn’t been easy and that he frequently read my blog posts where I had written about my similar experiences with post-production – magnified. What I had shared had helped him through it – angst and all.

My favorite line in his email read:

“So, I’m finally done with my movie, although there’s things I wish I had done differently, I did my best and I’m glad it’s finished! The final product is one thing, but the journey to get there is another, and the past 18 months have been such an amazing experience for me! I owe it all to you! Sorry for the long email but I’ve been waiting 18 months to tell you my story!!”

Brian just launched a Kickstarter campaign to send another engineer to Nepal for a similar project. You can find out more about it here: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/videotaping/welcome-to-abheypur-the-movie

I think back on that evening and the year and a half in between. I’ve gone through two tough winters, doing the kind of work that needs to be done, but nevertheless takes its toll on my heart and my soul. That evening, my spirit was alive and well. Brian and others felt it and it moved them to a place they wanted to be. And now, after a tough winter, that same “energy” has come back around to me through Brian’s email. It has reminded me to stay the course and stay on purpose. Thanks Brian.

January 31, 2012

Why Did You Want to Become a Photographer?

That was one of the questions posed to me during an interview this past weekend. A young woman had asked to interview me for a college paper she was writing. The call and the questions started out somewhat clinical, most likely another task or paper that she needed to check off her list. She proceeded through the usual list of questions: “Did you go to photography school?” “What type of photography are you interested in?” So on and so forth.

I could hear her typing my answers and I paused to let her catch up. But then she asked a question that really struck me on many levels. “Did you get into photography because it was cheaper?” I asked her what she meant by that – did she mean the tools of the trade were cheaper? When she responded “yes”, I told her that was somewhat of a misnomer and that the first cameras I bought (mechanical ones) I had used for 10 years. I added that now, because of the exponential impact of technology on my profession, my cameras and the software I need on the post end, have to be upgraded at least every two or three years, and that was only part of the investment required in the “tools of the trade.”

As she typed my response, I felt myself getting a bit anxious and I started speaking rapidly. I told her that even if that were true – meaning that I got into the photographic profession because it was cheaper – that would have been the absolute worst reason for me or anyone else, to choose photography as a profession. I went on to say that you need to be passionate about some aspect of photography that makes you want to do it more than anything, if you want to have a chance of sustaining yourself financially in this profession. Pursue photography because it brings you joy and that if you are getting into it because the entry level costs were “cheaper” you’ll simply be competing with thousands or tens of thousands of button pushers.

I went on to tell her that I became a photographer as a means to an end. I had been studying architecture in college and after two years left school to travel. I traveled the world for a year and came back knowing that I wanted to pursue a lifestyle that would incorporate travel but more importantly fill my endless curiosity of people and cultures and exploration. I wanted to become a storyteller, and became a photographer as a means to that end.

As the interview progressed I noticed the typing started to diminish as I told her that I have never separated my business from my pleasure and that they have always been tied together throughout my life. Simply put – my business is my pleasure. I talked about my frustrations starting out as one of a handful of women in a man’s world and for the most part a man’s profession – at least in the early days. I talked about the endless stream of rejections and the “wins” that seemed to pop into my life when I needed them most, rescuing me in the knick of time, just when I was thinking of quitting and moving into another career. I told her that unless she really wanted to do photography, she wouldn’t survive in this profession. I talked about my mentors when I was her age and how grateful I am that I had those people in my life. I relayed a couple of anecdotes about things my mentors had said to me and how those words had been pivotal moments in my life and that when things got tough, I drew upon those words of wisdom to get me through the day.

Then there was a very loud audible sigh, followed by a long period of silence and my mind raced through the various things that I had said to her. Was I too harsh? Did I paint too bleak of picture? Or worse yet – did I make it sound too easy and that all she had to do was “just do it”. I felt this overwhelming sense of responsibility that maybe I said something that was going to dictate the rest of her life and I kind of panicked in that moment of silence. And then she said “thank you so much for talking to me today, I started out just wanting to write my paper, and I’m going to have a great paper, but you have no idea how much talking to you has helped me.” She went on to tell me that she had been struggling with a decision that she was trying to make between going to law school and going to film school. I told her that she needed to make that decision all by herself and that it wasn’t a decision that anyone else could make for her – not I – not her parents – not anyone else. I told her to dig down deep into herself for the answer, beyond the influence of others, the dogma of the day and all the noise. And most importantly to remember that it was her life and that she got to choose how to live it and that she had every right to change her mind along the way.

Quite honestly, it has been one of those “onion” months for me, with layers of setbacks and second-guessing myself. I got off the phone feeling good about paying forward what I have learned along my way and in that moment, I realized that this might be my “purpose” at this point in my life. The day had turned into one of those sweet “strawberry days”. She didn’t know it, but she had helped me as much as she said I had helped her. It’s those conversations and those little moments that keep me going, and come to my rescue, just in the knick of time.

I would love to hear from you all – why did you want to become a photographer? Something you say or write just may help someone and paying it forward is the best feeling in the world.

December 30, 2011

Closing Thoughts and Best of Best

It’s been a very full year for me. I mean that in every sense of the word full – full of new experiences, full of hope, full of achievements – but also full of my share of rejections and disappointments. I’ve shared a lot of these experiences through this blog.

There have been times I haven’t written in a while because I didn’t feel like I’ve had anything worthwhile to say. And there have been times when I did write but I probably shouldn’t have because it wasn’t worth reading. I always told myself that when I didn’t feel like writing in my blog, that I just wouldn’t do it. So if there are long periods of time when I haven’t posted a new entry – it’s because for whatever reason, the desire may not be there. I have always appreciated the comments and feedback.

Here are the top 5 posts as far as number of hits:

My DSLR Kit for a Three-Month Road Trip

Gearing Up With HD DSLR’s

Standing on a 10-Foot Frozen Wave

Putting Together a DSLR Video Kit – and Why

Cultural Context and Photography

As you can see, the blogs about DSLR (for video) gear is where the interest was. But I’d have to say that out of those 5 posts, “Standing on a 10 Foot Frozen Wave” was my favorite. For me, it’s all about the story. And as Orson Welles once said “If you want a happy ending, it depends on where you stop the story”.

Happy New Year everyone.

November 15, 2011

Competing With Yourself

I started writing this blog a couple of days after I got to New Zealand. Now I am in the airport lounge waiting for my departure after an incredible 16 days in this country.

When I began this post, I had just won the Bronze award for Travel Photographer of the Year at the SATW (Society of American Travel Writers) convention in Wellington, New Zealand. I was up against some pretty stiff competition from some of the best travel photographers in the world, so it was an honor that I greatly appreciated.

On the last evening of the convention, they announced the winners of the Photographer Shootout that had taken place the first 3 days of the trip. The starting point was the Auckland airport where all the photographers involved were given their own vehicle – each identical in every way so as not to give anyone an unfair advantage. You could make your own itinerary and go anywhere you wanted to on the North Island – as long as you returned the car in Wellington – 3 days later by 5PM.

The weather was mixed as it usually is during springtime in most countries. We had some clouds, some sun and one morning of hard rain. One of the challenges of course was driving on the left side but that wasn’t as frustrating as the lack of a “shoulder” along the road to pull off to when I saw a magnificent sight – which was just about every 5 minutes. The distances were deceiving and invariably I had twice as much on my itinerary that I ended up getting to.

When I finally returned the car, I was happy to be rid of it – weary of the winding roads that were quite challenging at times. I felt good about the photos I had captured – but not overwhelmed by them because there were so many that I knew I had missed. When they announced that I had won second place silver portfolio – I was surprised and delighted because it had been so challenging for me on many levels. I’m mostly a people and city photographer, so in a country that’s known more for their scenery than large population centers – I was constantly pushing myself out of my norm.

I think that is why the shoot out reward is particularly meaningful to me. I wasn’t trying to beat out my competition and in fact I didn’t feel like someone else needed to lose in order for me to win. I felt good that I had pushed myself out of my comfort zone and every time I have done that, I have been richly rewarded. It was nice to be recognized by my peers and it was nice to win a prize but the best part of all was the feeling that I gave myself. I succeeded in what I had set out to do and that was to try something new and face some trepidations.

The older I get I realize that it’s all about the journey – not the destination.

November 2, 2011November 2, 2011

The Money Game

I’ve learned a lot about the “entertainment” industry in the process of creating our documentary Opening Our Eyes. But I was a bit surprised to learn how one show derives its content. I won’t mention specifics, because I don’t believe that this particular way of doing business is unique to this one show.

A couple of days ago, I received an email from one of the subjects in our film asking for my counsel about a high profile program that is syndicated on various cable channels. The show essentially does short segments on organizations and/or companies that have stories of educational value.

I looked through the electronic info kit that they had sent and it sounded great, because they guaranteed placement for the 5-6 minute piece within the program, which would run on a couple of large cable networks. They also guaranteed a 1- minute spot on CNN and Fox News. Plus the production company would deliver a file ready for web so that an organization could upload it to their site and/or deliver DVD’s to potential funders or clients.

I continued to read the attached PDF’s which listed the production requirements and workflow that would take place if “they” were selected to be profiled. But what stood out and surprised me was the line that stated that a payment of almost $30,000 would be required, if they were chosen to participate. Quite honestly, I was a bit shocked. Here was a production company that was creating a syndicated program and expecting the subjects to finance it.

I’m almost certain that this company also makes a hefty sum from the cable networks who in turn get money from their advertisers. That doesn’t surprise me a bit. But I didn’t know that it had become part of the game to make revenue off the subjects of the stories!

Perhaps that might not sound all that bad because it’s just business in a free economy, but quite honestly it has really changed my thinking about networks that run stories about people, organizations or institutions that have educational value. Now when I watch a show like this, I will question the credibility of the causes and organizations that are being profiled, because I know that this “door to distribution” is only open for those who can pay. And that doesn’t necessarily mean that the stories they run are about the most deserving subjects or even the most compelling stories. It simply means that the people behind these stories had the funds to “pay to play”.

I think back on all the extraordinary people that we met last summer while making our documentary. Most of them would be hard put to find this kind of money and if they did they would probably put it right back into their causes and the people they are trying to help – not a production company that is making money off both ends. I went in the “red” doing this documentary with the hopes that it will cause a shift in the way we think and that it will move people to action to make a difference in the world. I figured that’s the least I could do – use my skills as a storyteller to create a film that would raise awareness and help all our subjects and their programs.
Would I like to make money on this film? I’d be happy if I broke even. I’d be even happier if this film was seen by hundreds of thousands of people. But I wouldn’t dream of charging my subjects money.

Ronni Kahn of Oz Harvest told me “Just go out and do something – not for the money not for the recognition but for the sake of doing”. I suppose that’s exactly what Erin and I did. And that in itself has been the biggest reward of all.

October 28, 2011

Burning Bridges

I used to have a friend who would tell me that my life was made up of circles, each one completing the ring like segments of my life. The truth is that’s not unique to me – that’s life in general.

It’s Photo Plus Expo week in New York City, when photographers from around the world gather at Javits to look at new gear, take part in seminars and network. I don’t think I have missed an Expo since they began over 30 years ago. A lot has changed in the photography business over the past 30 years, but one thing is for certain and that is – it’s a very small world as far as the people who are part of this business.

Last night, I went to a couple of parties where I ran into quite a few people that I’ve met over the span of my career. Some I had done commissioned assignments for, some I had met through seminars that I had given and some were just old friends that I hadn’t seen in a very long time. But a couple of folks who approached me last night, and struck up a conversation, were people who had totally blown me off in years past – people who had simply ignored me. In every instance, these had been people who had recently experienced a shift in their own lives and now had a sudden interest in me and in what I was doing – to further their own gain.

I know that I have burned a few bridges in my lifetime and I’m sure there are some I’m not even aware of. (Anyone who tells you that they haven’t burned bridge is just simply not aware.) Some of those bridges, I have tried to rebuild and have succeeded. and some were beyond repair. What I have learned – and wish I had learned 20 years ago – is that everything comes around in your life, no matter how much you have grown or changed – the past is always present. And it seems easier sometimes to change the past – but of course that’s not possible.

What I’m finding now is that due to profound changes in the photography business as well as the lingering lousy economy, that the same people, who had ignored me or dismissed me a few years ago, were now acting like my “best friend”. I’m sure they didn’t remember how dismissive they had been to me – in fact I doubt that I was even on their radar at the time. But circumstances had changed in their lives and now they were taking notice of me and even asking for my help. I suppose I could say that they had burned a bridge with me but then again in most of these situations there had never been a bridge to burn to begin with.

The point is, you never know how your past will affect your future. You may think that you are in a position where you have no need for certain people in your life and be dismissive. But nothing lasts forever and if there is anything that I’ve learned by getting older – it’s just that. Our lives are made up of circles, each one connecting our past with our future. Consider that when dealing with people who come in and out of your life – because nothing ever stays the same. Many times you’ll find out that those people that you thought you had no use for in your past – may be key in your future. Hindsight is the best sight and you always get the best light from a burning bridge.

October 23, 2011

Being Yourself

Yesterday, I gave a talk and showed a bit of my film, Opening Our Eyes,

Opening Our Eyes One Sheet Poster 27x40" — Movie poster for Opening Our Eyes

at the PACA conference in New York City. I had been asked by ASPP to speak about the making of the film and my plans for distribution. To tell you the truth, even though I’m always thrilled to show and/or talk about the film, I was a bit nervous with this crowd. PACA stands for the Picture Archive Council of America and its member include some of the biggest stock photo agencies in the world, including Getty, Corbis, Masterfile and Alamy. I was nervous because part of my message was that I no longer needed the validation or others to get my stories to market.

I thought my message would be somewhat threatening, because I was telling the audience that content creators no longer needed the traditional gatekeepers of the past, to get their stories “out there.” That because of technology, it was possible for the individual to have a global reach and if one is willing to do the work – the prize is all theirs – meaning the monetary rewards.

I had a tough time slot to speak – right after lunch – I knew that I would be dimming the lights for the film and that is never a good thing to do in that time slot. But, Tom Kennedy had given his very inspirational talk about new media and new opportunities in the marketplace. I had heard Tom’s talk as part of ASMP’s SB 3 series this past year – and I knew that my presentation was a great follow up to his – and in fact it was almost like a case study example of what Tom was talking about.

My presentation went amazingly well and as I looked out into the dimly lit audience as the film was playing – I couldn’t see any closed eyes. I felt that I made a connection, and that perhaps in some small way, I had made a difference. Maybe, I just got people thinking about what they could do to make a difference in their own lives. And maybe I had influence beyond that. But, I know that I stayed true to myself. My intent was not to come off as threatening – but I did want to make people feel a tiny bit uncomfortable. It’s when we get uncomfortable that we push ourselves to a better place.

My message was simple. Someone doesn’t need to lose – in order for someone else to win.

September 24, 2011September 24, 2011

It’s All Connected

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve had numerous experiences where things I’ve done in the past have resurfaced in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Last week blues musician Willie “Big Eyes” Smith passed away. He was one of the only two Delta blues musicians still living who had been part of my first short documentary The Delta Bluesmen. That same week, I had a photograph hanging in an exhibit by the Copyright Alliance, Recording Our History: Faces Behind the Camera, in the Senate building rotunda in our nation’s capitol. It was a portrait of blues drummer Sam Carr, who I had photographed and interviewed for that same project, over ten years ago.

I knew if Sam were alive he would have been humbled and honored,

P9224216 — Gail Mooney with her portrait of blues drummer Sam Carr in Senate Rotunda, Washington DC ©Eugene Mopsik

as was I, to have his portrait displayed in such a historic setting. I couldn’t help but “feel” proud at that moment in time. Sure, I felt proud of myself and Sam but I also felt a sense of pride to live in a country where I could still freely walk the halls of the Senate building, past the offices of the powerful of today and the ghosts from yesterday. I didn’t expect to feel that way. I was surprised and comforted that we still have this kind of access to our representatives.

It got me thinking about the trip I took last summer with my daughter when we left the country for 99 days, shooting Opening Our Eyes. We had circled the globe and had visited countries that crossed the spectrum politically, economically and socially. Our journey truly did open our eyes and when we returned to the U.S., it was a big adjustment. What hit me most was that everyone needed to be right, especially in Washington DC. I couldn’t watch TV for months because all I saw was 500 channels of “experts” pontificating and no one was getting anywhere. Worse yet, we all suffer. I remember a time, when I was growing up during the Kennedy era and we asked what we could do for others, instead of what we could “gain” for ourselves.

It’s a year later and I still don’t watch much TV. I’ve found myself absorbed back into the “culture” of America. But as I walked through those venerable halls of the Senate building, I was reminded of my purpose. I’m a storyteller. I voice the stories of people like Sam Carr so that future generations will remember the way things used to be. History gives us perspective and we can learn from it – or not. Without perspective – we can’t remain free.

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