Personal Stories – Page 14 – Journeys of a Hybrid

October 25, 2011October 25, 2011

What to do When in a Slump

There are all types of slumps – creative, financial, relationship and personal. I’m sure there are others, but those are what come to mind – I’ve experienced all of them. I think that comes with living the kind of life I lead. There are times when it seems like I’m on a never ending roller coaster ride with lots of ups and lots of downs. The one thing I try to do when I’m in whatever kind of slump I’m experiencing, is to focus on the areas that seem to be working in my life. I’ve learned to take the bitter with the sweet.

Here’s some other remedies I have found that help get me out of a slump:

GET OUT – I mean that literally as well as figuratively. I break the pattern of what I am doing that doesn’t seem to be working and “get out” of that place. I also literally – get out – I change my environs – I get together with friends.
TRY SOMETHING NEW – I do something that I may have been thinking about, but I usually talk myself out of with every rational reason I shouldn’t do it. So, I follow my irrational instincts.
WALK AWAY – This is especially true when you are dealing with something technical and you just don’t “get it”. There have been days when I have struggled with something that wasn’t working – like when editing in Final Cut Pro – and I need to give myself some time away from the problem. But this only works if you aren’t up against a tight deadline. I try not to force a learning curve into situations with tight deadlines.
FOCUS ON WHAT IS GOING RIGHT – There is always something to be grateful for – focus on that.
BE STILL – I think this is perhaps the most important remedy that I have learned to embrace and that is – to give something time and not force it. If something is meant to happen then it will – and in its own time.

Every one of these “remedies” is pretty much centered around the same thing, and that is to recognize that there will always be slumps in one way or another – but they will make those sweet times that much sweeter.

October 23, 2011

Being Yourself

Yesterday, I gave a talk and showed a bit of my film, Opening Our Eyes,

Opening Our Eyes One Sheet Poster 27x40" — Movie poster for Opening Our Eyes

at the PACA conference in New York City. I had been asked by ASPP to speak about the making of the film and my plans for distribution. To tell you the truth, even though I’m always thrilled to show and/or talk about the film, I was a bit nervous with this crowd. PACA stands for the Picture Archive Council of America and its member include some of the biggest stock photo agencies in the world, including Getty, Corbis, Masterfile and Alamy. I was nervous because part of my message was that I no longer needed the validation or others to get my stories to market.

I thought my message would be somewhat threatening, because I was telling the audience that content creators no longer needed the traditional gatekeepers of the past, to get their stories “out there.” That because of technology, it was possible for the individual to have a global reach and if one is willing to do the work – the prize is all theirs – meaning the monetary rewards.

I had a tough time slot to speak – right after lunch – I knew that I would be dimming the lights for the film and that is never a good thing to do in that time slot. But, Tom Kennedy had given his very inspirational talk about new media and new opportunities in the marketplace. I had heard Tom’s talk as part of ASMP’s SB 3 series this past year – and I knew that my presentation was a great follow up to his – and in fact it was almost like a case study example of what Tom was talking about.

My presentation went amazingly well and as I looked out into the dimly lit audience as the film was playing – I couldn’t see any closed eyes. I felt that I made a connection, and that perhaps in some small way, I had made a difference. Maybe, I just got people thinking about what they could do to make a difference in their own lives. And maybe I had influence beyond that. But, I know that I stayed true to myself. My intent was not to come off as threatening – but I did want to make people feel a tiny bit uncomfortable. It’s when we get uncomfortable that we push ourselves to a better place.

My message was simple. Someone doesn’t need to lose – in order for someone else to win.

October 13, 2011October 13, 2011

Women and Photography

I have to get something “off my chest”, so forgive this mild rant.

Yesterday, I attended a conference in NYC. It was a trade show geared to video production with an educational track. I was sitting in on one session and there were only a handful of people in the room – I’d say less than 10. I was the only woman in the room. The instructor went to each person in the classroom and asked them what they wanted to learn from his workshop. He went to everyone in the room – but me!

I was sitting next to my partner, who is also my husband. I suppose the instructor decided that he didn’t need to ask ME that question. I didn’t count. Maybe because we were together and he felt that he only needed to ask one of us. But if so, why not ask me? I felt invisible. It was an all too familiar feeling that I have had in my 35-year career as a photographer and now a filmmaker. But I couldn’t believe that I was still feeling invisible after all that I’ve accomplished in those 35 years.

When I started my career in photography, it was definitely a man’s world. I was one of six women at Brooks Institute and the only woman in my graduating class. I fell in love with a “Brookie” and we headed back East to make our fame and fortune in photography.
We’ve done a lot of jobs together over our 35-year partnership and we’ve done a lot on our own. I needed to do my solo gigs because I felt I had to prove to myself that I could deliver the “story” or the task on my own. When I worked with my partner, it was always assumed by the client or our peers that I was the rep for my partner – never the photographer. People have always asked us why we refer to each other as partners rather than husband and wife – that’s why.

Perhaps that’s why I try so hard – but then again maybe that’s just my nature. And maybe because I always give it my all, I can’t help but be surprised when I’m treated like I’m invisible. At this point in my life, I can either let it bother me or I can think about who I am and what I’ve done and contributed to my profession. I focus on that and I take every opportunity to share and talk to young people – women and men.

The irony is, in photo schools these days the women far outnumber the men, yet there are still instructors out there like the one that I encountered yesterday. I have to ask myself why? I do know that in giving seminars over the last two years for ASMP, I would consistently get comments from women telling me how refreshing it was to have a woman teaching tech. But they also told me that I wasn’t intimidating like some male teachers they’ve had.

So what’s the point?

I only have one point and that is don’t hire me because you need to fill the slot with a “female” – hire me based on what I’ve accomplished. Hire me for who I am. Think past the gender and teach your children well.

October 9, 2011October 9, 2011

Happy Birthday John and Jackson and Goodbye Steve

Today John Lennon would have turned 71 years old, had his life not been snuffed out by a man with a gun in New York City over 30 years ago. John was always someone I revered – in the beginning as a heartthrob – later as an activist for peace and for living his life the way he wanted to live it – despite what others thought.

Today is also singer/songwriter Jackson Browne’s birthday. His music and lyrics have resonated with me since I first became acquainted with his songs back in the early 70’s when I was living out in California. I’ve been in and out of touch with his music over the years, but recently I’ve been influenced by his songs as well as his social activism. Jackson uses his craft to create awareness, gets people to think and moves people to action.

6810_Jackson-Browne-concert-postponed — Jackson Browne

A line from his song “Alive in the World” inspired the title of my documentary Opening Our Eyes, and I have been extremely fortunate to obtain his permission to use his song in our movie for community screenings and film festivals. Next week, I will get the opportunity to personally thank Jackson when I get to meet him after his concert at the Wellmont Theater in Montclair, NJ.

Last week we lost one of the “great ones” – Steve Jobs.

I’ve always admired Jobs for his vision and for what he brought into all of our lives. But mostly I admire Jobs for remembering to “Stay hungry and foolish”. And for reminding us to march to our own tune. He sums it up more eloquently than I in his 2005 Stanford University commencement speech:

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

I admire these three men for listening to their hearts and for following their dreams – for daring to be different. They have made our world a better place and have inspired me to do the same. I don’t know how much more time I have on this earth, but I do know that I wake up each day and remind myself to make it count.

September 24, 2011September 24, 2011

It’s All Connected

Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve had numerous experiences where things I’ve done in the past have resurfaced in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Last week blues musician Willie “Big Eyes” Smith passed away. He was one of the only two Delta blues musicians still living who had been part of my first short documentary The Delta Bluesmen. That same week, I had a photograph hanging in an exhibit by the Copyright Alliance, Recording Our History: Faces Behind the Camera, in the Senate building rotunda in our nation’s capitol. It was a portrait of blues drummer Sam Carr, who I had photographed and interviewed for that same project, over ten years ago.

I knew if Sam were alive he would have been humbled and honored,

P9224216 — Gail Mooney with her portrait of blues drummer Sam Carr in Senate Rotunda, Washington DC ©Eugene Mopsik

as was I, to have his portrait displayed in such a historic setting. I couldn’t help but “feel” proud at that moment in time. Sure, I felt proud of myself and Sam but I also felt a sense of pride to live in a country where I could still freely walk the halls of the Senate building, past the offices of the powerful of today and the ghosts from yesterday. I didn’t expect to feel that way. I was surprised and comforted that we still have this kind of access to our representatives.

It got me thinking about the trip I took last summer with my daughter when we left the country for 99 days, shooting Opening Our Eyes. We had circled the globe and had visited countries that crossed the spectrum politically, economically and socially. Our journey truly did open our eyes and when we returned to the U.S., it was a big adjustment. What hit me most was that everyone needed to be right, especially in Washington DC. I couldn’t watch TV for months because all I saw was 500 channels of “experts” pontificating and no one was getting anywhere. Worse yet, we all suffer. I remember a time, when I was growing up during the Kennedy era and we asked what we could do for others, instead of what we could “gain” for ourselves.

It’s a year later and I still don’t watch much TV. I’ve found myself absorbed back into the “culture” of America. But as I walked through those venerable halls of the Senate building, I was reminded of my purpose. I’m a storyteller. I voice the stories of people like Sam Carr so that future generations will remember the way things used to be. History gives us perspective and we can learn from it – or not. Without perspective – we can’t remain free.

September 16, 2011

A Sad Day

This is out of the norm for this site, but I post this news to remind everyone to live their life each day as if it were their last. It’s a reminder to us all, to not put off those things you want to do or leave your words unsaid.

I write when I have something on my mind or feel that I have something to say and pass along. Today, I write because I’m heartbroken. I need to share some thoughts and then close out.

Willie “ Big Eyes” Smith – legendary blues musician, passed away – suddenly from a stroke. He was one of the seven Delta blues musicians that I interviewed for one of my first short documentaries back in 2002, The Delta Blues Musicians. They are all gone now – but one.

I’ll always remember the day I sat down to talk to Willie. It was relaxed and we had the most wonderful conversation, sitting on the porch of an old sharecropper shack at Hopson’s Plantation in Clarksdale, MS. I feel good that I captured his thoughts and words that day and preserved them for future generations. I feel that my purpose in life is to do just that – to document, record and capture the peoples and cultures of our times. I feel that is what I am here to do. When I stay on that course, I have peace inside. When I drift from that – I don’t feel right. I think I’ve always known that – but nowadays I try to stay focused on that path.

Willie’s passing reminds me yet again, how precious life is and to appreciate the now. For the most part, I do live in the now. I try to live my life as if this may be my last day on earth. It frees me from a lot of needless fears that stops lots of people from “doing”. It reminds me to tell my people that I love them because I may not get that chance again.

We all put things off or leave things left unsaid. Seven years ago, mom died suddenly, without warning. It seems like yesterday because the pain is still real and there is a hole left in my heart. I remember quite clearly the week before she died. It was a busy week and I had planned to give my mom a call because it had been awhile. I never did get that chance – and those words will go unsaid – forever.

We lost another blues legend earlier this year, Pinetop Perkins. Pinetop and Willie had just won a Grammy for the album “Joined at the Hip” that they worked on together. I had been meaning to head down to the Delta next month to the Arkansas Blues and Heritage Festival – I had missed the festival last year and I wanted to hear Pinetop and Willie play. Sadly, I won’t get that chance to see and hear them in concert again. But I do have their records and I’ll always have their words, both on tape and tucked away in the recesses of my mind.

We’ll miss you Willie.

September 14, 2011September 14, 2011

Status Quo, Fear and Other Stupid Human Tricks

I went to my town meeting last night. It was a typical “town meeting” where everyone needed to be “right”, and no one was winning. A citizen came up to the mic during the public hearing session and made a statement that really resonated with me. He said “ No one ever wants to change the status quo It’s human nature not to want change. Everyone has their little power centers that they want to hold onto”.

I had a flashback that brought me back to a smoke filled room of dirty dishes with leftover remnants of brown rice and a whole lot of people having the same old discussion of how we all needed to stop “ the War” and change the world. That was almost 40 years ago but I’ll remember like it was yesterday when a “freak” came in and said “Why doesn’t somebody f……. do something? You’re all just sitting around and talking – like the status quo”

Photo Source Mr. Snodgrass

To be honest, I don’t think there is a status quo. Nothing ever stays the same. You either move forward or drop back, but there is no stepping in place. It’s not sustainable. And that’s nothing new – it’s always been true – but never more than today due to the exponential rise in technology. And it has never been more true in regards to the state of the photographic industry. I see so many photographers paralyzed by their own fears of taking a risk and thinking outside their own boxes.

Few people overcome their fear of change and rise to the occasion of “doing something” as opposed to reacting to something. Most plod along, feeling no control over their destiny – letting fate take its course. A lot of photographers are just hoping to “ride it out” until there is nothing left of their businesses.

Every once in a while, somebody makes a bold move and looks at “change” as an opportunity. History proves me right. If you look back through time, you will see a pattern. At the most pivotal times of change – the cream always rises to the top – and the sludge gets left behind – on the bottom.

As far as the photography industry – I think it’s time to decide if we are ready to “embrace” change and rise to the top or die a slow death. But we have to start seeing the opportunities that always come with change.

September 12, 2011September 12, 2011

The Eyes of Our Times

I was looking through my emails and social media posts and I saw something on my Facebook feed that Daymon J. Hartley posted. It was a link to a lightbox of 9/11 images on Time Magazine’s website. It was a collection of images that had run in a variety of magazines and newspapers in the days that followed that tragic event. Along with the images ran comments from the picture editors, why they had chosen that particular image.

As I looked through the images, I was overcome with emotion and moved right back to a very deep place within, remembering the pain, the fear and disbelief of what happened that day. This time I looked at the images online. Ten years ago I first saw these photographs in print publications. Regardless of how I saw these images, in print or electronically – the effect was still the same.

It reminded me of how powerful our photographs and videos are. We are the eyes of our times, the ones to document history. We not only record history in imagery, sound and motion, but we have the power to create the future. History has been rewritten by imagery. Take the Civil Rights Movement in the 1960’s in America. Photographs created awareness of what was happening in the South and put the eyes of the world upon us. That forced change.

As photojournalists and video journalists and non-professionals as well, we need to realize the power of what we do and the influence it can make. It’s a responsibility I take seriously. I feel that it’s not just my duty to document history as it unfolds, but it’s my right to do so as well. These days those rights are being questioned in some places. We need to be diligent in keeping those rights in America. Isn’t that what makes our country different?

As we race towards a destination unknown with technology quickening the pace – let’s be mindful who is controlling the portals of the future – so that future generations can learn from the past.

September 11, 2011

The Power of Music on 9/11

Today is a day of remembrance – it’s been 10 years since the Twin Towers came down in NYC, changing the Manhattan skyline and our lives forever. We all can probably remember exactly where we were and what we were doing that terrible day.

As for me, I not only remember that day vividly, but the weeks that followed, even though I felt like I was living in a daze. What I remember most was the healing power of music. In fact, music was one of the few things we humans could let into our hearts and minds to try to begin to soothe our souls and deal with our pain and our fears.

Music is a universal language. Regardless of where we are in the world, music is one of those things that can still define a culture and a people, even in a world that seems so homogenous in so many other ways. I think that’s why it resonates with me, it speaks to the place I’m in, even though I may not be able to communicate with words. Music transcends any language and connects us on a deeper more primal level that goes straight to the heart. When I was interviewing blues musician Willie “Big Eyes” Smith, he told me “If you sing me the blues – I know exactly where you’re coming from”.

I think all of us can define moments in our life by a song that we remember. We have all been exhilarated by music and have danced the night away or conversely been healed by music when it seems like we just can’t make it through the day. What else has that kind of power?

Today, I will pause and remember that tragic day 10 years ago that changed our lives forever and as I do, I will heal my soul with music. I know if Willie “Big Eyes” could heard me singing the blues today – he’d know exactly where I was coming from.

August 22, 2011

Somebody Should Do Something

Have you ever been in a situation or with a group of people when something is being discussed and someone says “somebody should do something”? It could be anything from a local school with a bully problem to helping victims of conflicts happening on the other side of the world. I hear that phrase too frequently. I used to say it myself. But the fact is the “somebody” is each one of us.

It seems like everyone is waiting for someone else to do something. There are some days it seems like people are in a stalled mood – everyone kind of waiting to “fix” things. There’s a lot of talk – the pundits on TV – the politicians – the short term capitalists – but nothing seems to be getting done.

I think people are basically “stuck” right now because everyone seems to be looking for that “one” perfect solution. We are so accustomed to thinking that way in our “made for TV culture” we overlook the ordinary simple things we all could be doing.

I’ve had a bit of a shift in my life over the last couple of years where I’ve really started being more conscious of my own actions and how those actions can affect my circle of influence. Just little things – but I know that the way to achieve any big goal is to break it down into little steps. One little thing I recently did was to design a simple cardboard DVD jacket for my film, rather than the traditional plastic case that DVD’s are packaged in. Committed people in grass roots groups like the Plastic Pollution Coalition, made me aware of the huge problem with plastics and our environment.

The thing I realize though is that “doing something” – anything – is better than waiting for someone else to make things right. It feels good and it’s addictive. It’s probably one of the few addictive things that are beneficial. And it’s empowering.

Go out and create your day.

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