Personal Stories – Page 25 – Journeys of a Hybrid

December 8, 2009December 14, 2009

29 Years Ago Today – John Lennon Murdered

It’s hard to believe that it’s been 29 years since John Lennon was shot and killed outside outside The Dakota, his apartment building in New York City.

From the first time I saw the Beatles perform on The Ed Sullivan Show as a young girl in February, 1964, I decided that John was “my favorite Beatle”. There was something about him that appealed to me. Sure Paul was the cute one – but John was the …. well he just sort of struck me as more rebellious which was very exciting, even back then.

John followed his own path and used his voice to speak for Peace. After the Beatles broke up, he went on to have a great solo career and then when his son Sean was born, he pretty much left the limelight. He had recently resurfaced and had recorded a new album – and then he was killed.

I’ll always remember that night. I was watching the local NYC 11 o’clock news that had been delayed because a football game had gone into overtime. Half way through the anchor’s report came a breaking news bulletin saying that an unnamed man had been shot outside the Dakota, on West 72nd St. I instantly got a jolt and somehow knew that it was John Lennon and within a half hour it was confirmed that Lennon was dead.

The following week was a sad one in NYC. People gathered in Strawberry Fields, a section of Central Park that John and Yoko used to frequent. Night after night there were candlelight vigils and people took solace in each other’s company.

The entire world mourned the loss of John and along with that went any and all hopes that the Beatles would get together again.

Rest in peace John. You made a difference in many people’s lives.

December 6, 2009December 14, 2009

And Me Without My Camera

I flew out to LA on Friday and had a free afternoon before giving a seminar the next day. I had packed light. I was only in town for a short stay and most of it devoted to my presentation. So I left my cameras at home.

I was staying in Santa Monica so when I got into LA that Friday afternoon I headed to the Santa Monica Pier. It was the quintessential California day – weather wise bringing back a lot of memories from when I used to live in Santa Barbara. For anyone who has ever been to the pier you’ll understand when I say it was like a circus of vibrant visuals. Within a matter of minutes I was regretting the fact that I didn’t have a camera. And then a funny thing happened – I started recording the visuals in my head and using words instead.

Colorful bumper cars against a bright green wall that vibrated in the late afternoon light.
Two men crossing paths each recording their own observations with their mobile devices silhouetted against the glare of the sun on the water.
Garry King “on the scene” the street musician doing his own thing pumping out smooth sounds that drifted off in the wind.
A man who looked like Santa Claus and sounded like Cat Stevens singing the House of the Rising Sun, quickly followed by I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.
A fisherman weathered and alone.
A 400 lb mime painted silver and pulling his pedestal down the pier behind him.

Today as I headed to the airport in my rented hybrid car an old flatbed pick up, era 1920’s pulled up beside me at the light. For an instant I locked eyes with the old Mexican gentlemen who gave me a quick smile and I thought to myself – and me without a camera.

Maybe it’s time for me to get an iPhone. If only the phone part was better.

December 1, 2009December 14, 2009

Wipe Your Knees Before Entering

Back in the eighties when I was starting out, every six months or so I made the pilgrimage to Washington DC to see Bob Gilka, The Director of Photography at the National Geographic Magazine. He was the guy who decided if you would shoot for the magazine. He was accessible, answered his own phone and made appointments to look at work. How times have changed.

Gilka was a man of few words and because of that seeing him was always a bit intimidating. If all you had were images to show – and nothing to say, you’d pretty much be in and out of his office in the amount of time it took to click through your slides. Knowing this, I did my homework prior to the appointment. I’d come up with about 10 query ideas, research back issues of the magazine to make sure they hadn’t been done before and have at least one idea written up in a story proposal.

I’ll never forget the first time I went to Gilka’s office. His secretary met me in the lobby, and led me to a small area just outside his office. There on his door was a doormat –with words that read “Wipe Your Knees Before Entering”. Talk about feeling intimidated – as if it wasn’t intimidating enough just to be meeting with the Director of Photography at the National Geographic.

So every six months or so I would show my images and pitch my ideas. This went on for about two years. Each time I went I would almost test myself to see how long I could stay in his office. I would do my best to sell my story pitches that I felt the strongest about and he would reply – “done it –doing it – or – don’t want to do it”. This coupled with a few words of encouragement in regards to some of my photographs would pretty much be it as far as feedback.

Then one day he kept me waiting. He had been detained in a meeting. I had scheduled a pretty tight day to maximize my trip to Washington – so the delay had thrown a wrench into me keeping my other appointments that I had scheduled. When Gilka did show up and apologized, I was already feeling quite anxious and showed it. I told him that I didn’t have much time because I had to be across town at the Smithsonian in 20 minutes. He picked up the phone, called Declan Haun, the picture editor I was headed to see at Smithsonian Magazine and explained that Gail Mooney was running late due to his tardiness. Then he proceeded to look at my pictures and hear me out.

When I did get to the Smithsonian, it was amusing to see how curious Declan Haun was to find out who this Gail Mooney was that got Bob Gilka to call ahead for her. The very next month, I got a call from Bob Gilka offering me my first assignment. Guess I just needed to show my real self. I had sufficiently shown my interest and determination in wanting to shoot for them. And I had demonstrated my photographic ability through my images. But it was when I showed my true spirit that he knew that I could shoot for them. I just had to get over my fright.

November 25, 2009December 14, 2009

Pausing to be Thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Call me corny but I’m one of those people that like to think about the real meaning behind the holidays that we celebrate. So today I’m taking pause to think about all the things that I’m thankful for this year. Sure there’s plenty of angst, jobs are less and money is tight but I have a lot to give thanks for.

• My health – for this I am most grateful.
• My family – both my immediate family and my far-flung relatives who I don’t get to see often but are always in my thoughts and I know are always there for me.
• My freedom – I think about this a lot. No matter how many times I feel that things have gotten off track in my country – I have the freedom to speak my mind, pursue my dreams and to change the things that I don’t like.
• My home – I’m lucky to have a home where I feel safe because I know there are so many who aren’t as fortunate these days. I never take this for granted.
• My passion – Sure I have my down days, but I’m thankful that I have an inner spirit that won’t let me give up on my pursuits.
• My friends and my peers – Because of my career and my collaborations with others, I have good friends – some I’ve recently gotten to know and others I’ve known for a long time. And some who I’ve recently reconnected with.
• My sharing of knowledge and making a difference. My husband and I trained a small army of volunteers in our town to shoot our town meetings and get them broadcast on our public access station. And I can see it has made a difference – people have become more civic minded and taken more of an interest in their community.
• I’m thankful that my personal projects in both stills and video can be seen globally through the power of the Internet and the power that has.
• I’m thankful for the many volunteers everywhere who give their time generously to others who are in need.
• I’m thankful for all the little things that are so precious – the sun that warms me on a cold day, the rain that nourishes the land, the colors and calm of a beautiful dawn and the thousands of stars on a clear night.

I’d love to hear what others are thankful for. I have found many times that those who seem to be less fortunate are also the ones who are most thankful for what they have.

November 18, 2009March 24, 2014

Looking For People Making a Difference

Maybe it started after seeing James Natchwey speak at Photo Plus Expo – the desire to create awareness with my camera. But I think it started long ago and in fact goes back to my roots and why I wanted to be a photographer. Simply put, I know that a camera can be a powerful tool in bringing awareness to a cause and with that the ability to bring about change.

I’ve always been interested in the power of the individual, those that are so passionate about a conviction they let nothing stop them. One young woman Maggie Doyne who graduated from high school with my daughter 5 years ago, decided to travel instead of going off to college. She wound up in a small village in Nepal and using her babysitting money, started a school/orphanage for Nepalese children orphaned by war. Learn more about Maggie’s Kopila Valley Children’s Home.

But what’s equally impressive about Maggie is that she speaks to students about how they can make a difference, thus planting seeds in the minds of our youth. That’s a powerful thing and each one of those people she speaks to has the potential do something that could make a difference.

This leads me to the point of this blog and how you can help. I’m embarking on an international project – to make a documentary that features people who are truly making a difference around the world. I am currently searching for those people who have a compelling story to tell. For this project, I am not looking for those who are specifically working for an NGO or some type of organization, such as the Peace Corps, because their stories – the stories of those organizations – have already been widely told.

I am searching for individuals who have embarked on their own personal projects to help make the world a better place – people who have followed their passions, ambitions, dreams, to start something that they care about. Their projects do not have to be massive or overly ambitious – it could be something as basic as restoring old churches in Russia. The people can be natives of their country or expatriates, young or old. Ideally, I would like to find 7 people, one on each continent.

So, if you know someone who is making a difference, please let me know. gail@kellymooney.com And if you don’t know someone, please pass this blog along and get the word out virally. My hope is that by using my skills to tell these stories, I will play my part in paying it forward.

November 10, 2009December 14, 2009

If the Idea Just Won’t Quit Ya – Take Notice

If anyone’s been paying attention to my last few posts you would have noticed that I’ve been very introspective of late. That’s usually what happens to me when I’m about to make a change or embark on a personal project. '60's psychedelic VW van I have found that when unexpected and random events happen in my life and I take notice and then question why – I’m ready for my next chapter.

I have a friend who is a freelance writer and lives nearby. We frequently take long walks through the miles of preserved natural open land that lie within our community. We are both creatives and we’ve discovered that it’s a wonderful environment for conversation and bouncing ideas off of one another. On a recent walk I was talking about an idea that just won’t leave my head and another thought that’s just starting to morph into a more concrete plan.

At one point she questioned that perhaps I should segway the ideas into assignments from magazines or online publishers – like that would somehow legitimize my effort. I told her that if I have an idea that I feel so strongly about that I’m ready to proceed on my own – then I didn’t feel the need to get validation from someone else. That my passion for the subject matter usually carried me through and was all the validation I needed.

I’ve worked on a quite few personal projects over the years, both still photography and video as well as combinations of both. There hasn’t been one project that hasn’t been rewarding on many levels. Of course there’s the personal satisfaction and growth that I initially receive. And there’s the incredible feeling I get from knowing my work has touched someone or had an impact on them. And there are always the residual rewards that lead to new connections and future projects or jobs.

Someone once told me “pay attention to those thoughts in your head that just won’t quit ya”. So I think I will.

November 6, 2009December 14, 2009

Facing Our Fears

I read a post “Lessons from Childhood” by Judy Herrmann this week on ASMP’s Strictly Business Blog that really hit home. She was talking about a children’s book that she was reading to her daughter that touched upon one of the universal themes of life – facing your fears. The story talks about a young turtle with a cracked shell being reluctant to get an x-ray because it would show how scared he was inside. Dr. Bear assures him that bravery isn’t about fearlessness, but rather “doing what you have to do, no matter how scared you feel.”

I remember reading those same childhood tales to my own daughter when she was young. erin_dunes And it reminded me of when she was in her sophomore year of college and headed to Santiago, Chile to study for 6 months. I sensed she was anxious and afraid of the unknown – a perfectly natural response, and she was holding it inside. I asked her if she was afraid and she hesitated a bit, perhaps not wanting to show me her vulnerable side and she finally replied – yes, a little. I told her that just about everything I’ve ever done that’s been most rewarding in my life – were the things that I was most afraid of doing.

I’ve spent a lifetime facing my fears and if I really break it down, I realize that what I fear most is the possibility of rejection. That if I put myself out there, reaching down into my deepest self and presenting that to others and it wasn’t embraced, how devastated I would be. I wish I could say that whenever I have faced my fears and put myself out there through my work or in my personal life that it always had a happy ending. Quite honestly, for every step forward, there have been at least two steps back. And like the turtle, I have taken solace and crawled into my shell at times.

Ultimately, though someone or something comes along that pierces that armor and I reach out – facing my fears once again. And every so often I get rewarded in a million different ways. That’s what keeps me going, what I keep my eye on – that even though the setbacks and rejections far outnumber the successes – they all play into making the triumphs that much sweeter and meaningful.

And so I face my fears and push myself over and over – seeking, exploring and never really feeling comfortable, even after all these years. But I know no other way, nor would I choose another way because it’s far scarier to live a life inside a shell.

November 4, 2009December 14, 2009

The Power to Move and Influence

How often are we really moved in our lives by something we see or hear? Whether it be a printed photograph, a film, a song or a book, I’m sure there are times we all recall seeing or hearing something that has really moved us. Sometimes we’ve been moved to take action on something that’s been stirring inside us because those lyrics or visuals just won’t leave our heads.

These days we are so bombarded by “content” from every direction we turn that it’s hard to let anything sink in. The message gets lost amongst the clutter of mediocrity. We get blinded by all the packaging and fizz and just don’t see or hear what people are trying to say – if they are saying anything at all. The human connections don’t seem to be made.

Last night I went to see Jackson Browne in concert. I knew it would be an intimate experience because it was just Jackson playing an acoustic set – no band – just Jackson and the audience. As I took my seat in the theater I saw the simple set on stage – one chair – one small table with a cup of tea on it – one amplifier, a keyboard and his guitars. Granted there were 16 guitars for Jackson to choose from throughout the night – but ultimately it was about as simple and as basic as it gets.

I have been following Jackson Browne since his early days when I was living in California. I grew up with his music and lyrics over the years as it changed with the times and his own life’s experiences. I fell in love with his music and to his music. I’ve been amazed and inspired by his incredible gift to connect with people on a very intimate and personal level.

As I looked around at the faces in the theater last night as he played in such a pure and simple way, I could see that I wasn’t the only one that had been taken to another place. The women in the audience were in love with him and the men were in awe. We were with him the entire evening listening to every word and note.

As his music lingers in my head today, I can’t help but think about all the stories that are in my head that are dying to get out. I remind myself to pay attention to those stirrings because in my heart I know that those are the very thoughts that I need to listen to. The one thing that I’ve learned over the years is that the ideas that are closest to my heart are the very ones I need to act on because ultimately they will rise above the clutter and resonate with others.

Thanks Jackson for your inspiration.

November 3, 2009December 14, 2009

Election Day – Is Anyone Paying Attention?

I’ve always loved Election Day. It makes me feel like I have the power to make a difference because I know that just one vote can. I’ll always vote in any given election – not just the Presidential election every four years – but even (especially) in my local election where often one vote has made the difference. I’m grateful that I live in a country where I have the right to vote and I hope I never take that “right” for granted.

When I was 18 years old I couldn’t vote. The year was 1969; I had just graduated from high school and went off to college. It was a time of unrest and protest on college campuses because the Vietnam War was escalating and every day young men my age were dying. Young men that couldn’t even cast a vote for their Commander in Chief because the voting age was 21 and they were too young. Too young to vote but not too young to give their life for their country. The voting age changed on July 1, 1971 with the Twenty Sixth Amendment to the US Constitution changing the voting age from 21 to 18 in response to the student activism against the war.

It’s hard to believe that change happened in my lifetime and even harder to believe that when my grandmother was in her twenties she couldn’t vote because she was a woman. I will never take my vote for granted because I feel somehow it dishonors all the people who fought hard for that right. I also feel that apathy can lead to disaster. Just look at history if you don’t believe me.

We all get caught up in living our lives and sometimes we don’t see the silent shifts of power. But if we’re not careful and aren’t diligent in protecting our rights – they will quietly go away without us ever noticing. And it makes no difference what your political persuasions are. You have no right to whine about what you don’t like if you don’t vote.

I don’t want to be the one explaining to my grandchildren when they ask me why my generation let “whatever” happen – happen. I don’t want to be the one who says that I was too busy posting on my Facebook and didn’t take the time to go to the polls and vote.

Go vote today – it’s the greatest feeling in the world.

November 1, 2009December 14, 2009

“You’re Only 25 And You’re Already Making Compromises?”

There’s a story that I love to tell because it explains why I followed the path I did – in my career and my life.

It was 1976 and I had just graduated from Brooks Institute in Santa Barbara, California. I had my technically perfect portfolio and I was ready to set the world on fire. British schoolboy, Bath, England My plan was to move back East, and pursue my dream of becoming a photojournalist. That was where my heart was – “telling the story” through my images and I wanted to share those images through the pages of magazines. But even back then photo essays and the magazines that printed them were threatened by a bad economy and changing times. Look had just folded and Life was seeing its demise – the first time around.

Back then everyone told me that to make a living in photography you needed to get a studio and shoot commercially. I bought into that, geared my first portfolio toward that and got a job assisting a commercial still life photographer. But it didn’t feel right -it wasn’t the right fit for me. I had wanted to become a photographer to capture people and their cultures and what was going on in the world – not to shoot static objects in a New York City studio.

I had admired Jay Maisel’s work at the time, his eye for the detail and the streets of New York. I decided to give him a call and ask if he had time to look at my portfolio and maybe give me a critique or some advice. He agreed so we set up a time at his studio down in the Bowery. The late ’70’s was not a great time for NYC – economically speaking it was broke and Mayor Beame had just been turned down by the Feds for a bailout. Just taking the trek down to that part of Manhattan at that time, was an adventure in itself. Jay was a true pioneer in buying that old bank building back then. I’ll never forget the contrast between the graffiti covered exterior and amazing space inside.

Jay looked at every perfectly mounted print of technically perfect photographs and tossed them aside. He looked at me and asked me if this was what I really wanted to do. I started to go into a lengthy explanation of how I really wanted to be a photojournalist and proceeded to tell him all the reasons that I had given myself when I talked myself out of pursuing that dream. And then I took out some snapshots of things I had shot on my travels before I even went to Brooks. He looked at the images and told me that he could tell that this was what I should be doing. And then he asked me how old I was. I replied that I was 25. He looked me straight in the eye and said “You’re 25 years old and you’re already making compromises?”.

It was a turning point in my life. Every time I’m tempted to go off course, I remind myself of Jay’s words and I get back on track.

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