Fear – Page 2 – Journeys of a Hybrid

December 17, 2010

Getting Your Train Back on Track

I was going to write about audio today, but my mind wasn’t there – it was elsewhere. That’s the fun part about it for me, I write if there’s something I’m thinking about.

This morning my mind was drifting to other things, like the highs and lows of the last couple of weeks. But when I have weeks that are like life on a roller coaster, I remind myself that I have to focus on the peaks and the thrills to survive the plunges. I also know that if I really want to live life then I have to be prepared for both ends of the spectrum.

I’ll share some thoughts that have helped me keep my train on the track.

I love myself for who I am.
If timing is everything, then sooner or later I’ll get it right.
Work is not a negative word.
Do what I love to do, regardless of what others say.
Understand my adversaries – I may learn something.
Some of the things that have upset me the most, have helped me grow.
Value friendships.
True friendship continues to grow over the longest distance.
Understand, no matter how much I care, others won’t. That’s OK.
Be fearless to love.
Forgive those who have hurt me.
Forgive myself.
There’s a time for everything.
Be fearless to keep trying even though I’ve lost before.
If I create from the heart, nearly everything works.
Be fearless to think that anything is possible.

And one more from Yoda –“ Train yourself to let go of what you fear to lose.”

Maybe I’ll talk about audio next week.

October 21, 2010October 25, 2010

Fear and Isolation

I see it everywhere – people reacting – frozen by their fears. And it seems to be catching. That’s because fearful people like company. Somehow they feel that if they can get others to bind with them in spreading their doom, that their own fears and trepidations will be validated.

People are so angry these days because their world is changing and they feel threatened. I see it in government where the tone these days is angry – full of hatred and fear and more time is spent pointing the finger of blame at others than in coming up with solutions to problems.

I see groups and organizations taking on a “we versus them” insular attitude, thinking that somehow by keeping people out of their exclusive group – they will have more for themselves.

I see relationships where one person may feel threatened or insecure and tries to exclude other people and relationships from their insular lives. They foolishly believe this will make their relationship stronger – the two of them against the world so to speak.

I understand why the fearful act this way. Somehow they think that if they can convince others to go along with them in their pursuit of eliminating competition or outside influences– they will receive more. But it doesn’t work that way. It never has and it never will. The simple reason is that people who spend their time telling themselves and others what won’t work or focus just on themselves, instead of embracing others and being open to possibilities, become insular and ultimately create their own demise. They are bringing nothing positive into the world – no motivation for growth – only reasons why they should stop themselves. They predict the future in negative ways and in the process create that reality and then say, “see I told you”.

The group that tries so hard to keep things the same and feels threatened by newcomers ultimately becomes a group of old thinkers who die out. The person who attempts to gain more attention from their mate by keeping them from their friends and outside interests, soon finds out that doesn’t bring them more attention, but rather resentment because it’s unsustainable.

There have been times in my life that I’ve been sucked into these negative mindsets and I can tell you that not only it didn’t bring anything good into my life – it kept good out. These days, I have been giving more of myself. I have been getting out there and meeting people, sharing with people and I’m finding out that in the process, I’ve gotten a lot more in return. But I don’t give with the expectation to receive in return – I give because in the long run, everyone benefits.

We become stronger when we allow others in our lives to give to and to learn from. We should strive to allow people in our lives who want us to succeed, because those people understand that in helping and supporting us in turning our dreams into reality – they are also creating a better environment for themselves. And when a couple understands that when they love their mate enough to let them and their spirit soar by not manipulating or placing restrictions, their relationship will ultimately get stronger and will stand the test of time.

Think about this today. What kind of life do you want to live? Do you want a life of possibilities or one of predictable doom by keeping your “community” narrow and insular? You never know – that person that you decided to exclude, may have been the one who could have changed your life – in a positive way.

February 8, 2010February 8, 2010

Fear, Blame and Responsibility

The title of this entry alone will probably stop most people from reading on, but for those of you who’ve continued, be prepared for some cold harsh comments.

I had a lousy weekend – one of those weekends where everything went wrong – first the power steering went on my car while I was driving, then my printer broke – I got a message saying something like it was past it’s life – and then I fell halfway down the basement steps and landed hard on my elbow. My elbow is still throbbing but as long as I can move my arm, I think I’ll opt out of a trip to the emergency room because I can’t afford the medical bills – I’m already strapped by paying an annual premium of $18,000 with a $7500 deductible on each occurrence. What’s wrong with that scenario? But I’ll rant about that another time.

What really bothered me most this weekend – even with all the crap above – were some comments made in response to an entry I wrote as a contributor on the blog of my trade association. My entry was about “The Business of Video Production” and it was the last post of the week in a series of posts about video. The person writing the comments was clearly upset that his photographic trade association had been blogging about video. He was angry that so called “experts” who had themselves just recently gotten into video by buying a DSLR were claiming to be “god’s gift to video production” and encouraging members to move into video which he was sure was a terrible business move. I took offense with his words. I have been involved in video production for over 11 years and not new to the game as he implied and I don’t shoot with a DSLR but a “real” video camera and even if I did – the tool in itself doesn’t define my skills as a motion shooter. But what bothered me was the fact that he took his time to complain about a blog entry that I wrote, in my own free time with the good intentions of “sharing” my knowledge with my peers. No good deed goes unpunished.

After thinking about it, I realized that I had written something that he didn’t want to hear. He wanted to hear that the photography business will go back to the way it used to be. He was angry and he took it out on me. He needed someone to point the finger at – to blame for the poor economy and its effect on the photo business. This morning Seth Godin wrote a blog entitled “Frightened, clueless or uniformed” where he writes “In the face of significant change and opportunity, people are often one of the three.” And this was a perfect example where this person was all three.

My first reaction was to question why I should devote my time to writing and sharing with others through social media only to be criticized for it. But I’m not one to retreat and let the whiners of the world win. I was raised by a father who was a city smart kid growing up on Chicago’s West Side and a mother who grew up in the remote reaches of the Upper Peninsula in Michigan. They didn’t tolerate whiners and complainers and people who wouldn’t take responsibility for themselves. They taught me that if I wanted something, it was up to me to make it happen and if I didn’t – I had no one to blame but myself. More importantly they taught me to believe that I could achieve anything I put my mind to. And that is how I try to live my life – in pursuit of my dreams.

So my suggestion to people who don’t happen to like what I’m suggesting or writing about – make some suggestions yourself. Contribute – share – do something positive for yourself and others. Come up with solutions – find opportunities – keep your mind open to possibilities. Stop kicking the dog. Stop being angry that things aren’t the way they used to be and start looking at how things are better because of technology – and start using it to make a positive change in your life.

Life’s too short to spend it complaining.

November 6, 2009December 14, 2009

Facing Our Fears

I read a post “Lessons from Childhood” by Judy Herrmann this week on ASMP’s Strictly Business Blog that really hit home. She was talking about a children’s book that she was reading to her daughter that touched upon one of the universal themes of life – facing your fears. The story talks about a young turtle with a cracked shell being reluctant to get an x-ray because it would show how scared he was inside. Dr. Bear assures him that bravery isn’t about fearlessness, but rather “doing what you have to do, no matter how scared you feel.”

I remember reading those same childhood tales to my own daughter when she was young. erin_dunes And it reminded me of when she was in her sophomore year of college and headed to Santiago, Chile to study for 6 months. I sensed she was anxious and afraid of the unknown – a perfectly natural response, and she was holding it inside. I asked her if she was afraid and she hesitated a bit, perhaps not wanting to show me her vulnerable side and she finally replied – yes, a little. I told her that just about everything I’ve ever done that’s been most rewarding in my life – were the things that I was most afraid of doing.

I’ve spent a lifetime facing my fears and if I really break it down, I realize that what I fear most is the possibility of rejection. That if I put myself out there, reaching down into my deepest self and presenting that to others and it wasn’t embraced, how devastated I would be. I wish I could say that whenever I have faced my fears and put myself out there through my work or in my personal life that it always had a happy ending. Quite honestly, for every step forward, there have been at least two steps back. And like the turtle, I have taken solace and crawled into my shell at times.

Ultimately, though someone or something comes along that pierces that armor and I reach out – facing my fears once again. And every so often I get rewarded in a million different ways. That’s what keeps me going, what I keep my eye on – that even though the setbacks and rejections far outnumber the successes – they all play into making the triumphs that much sweeter and meaningful.

And so I face my fears and push myself over and over – seeking, exploring and never really feeling comfortable, even after all these years. But I know no other way, nor would I choose another way because it’s far scarier to live a life inside a shell.

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this: