idea – Page 2 – Journeys of a Hybrid

January 31, 2012

Why Did You Want to Become a Photographer?

That was one of the questions posed to me during an interview this past weekend. A young woman had asked to interview me for a college paper she was writing. The call and the questions started out somewhat clinical, most likely another task or paper that she needed to check off her list. She proceeded through the usual list of questions: “Did you go to photography school?” “What type of photography are you interested in?” So on and so forth.

I could hear her typing my answers and I paused to let her catch up. But then she asked a question that really struck me on many levels. “Did you get into photography because it was cheaper?” I asked her what she meant by that – did she mean the tools of the trade were cheaper? When she responded “yes”, I told her that was somewhat of a misnomer and that the first cameras I bought (mechanical ones) I had used for 10 years. I added that now, because of the exponential impact of technology on my profession, my cameras and the software I need on the post end, have to be upgraded at least every two or three years, and that was only part of the investment required in the “tools of the trade.”

As she typed my response, I felt myself getting a bit anxious and I started speaking rapidly. I told her that even if that were true – meaning that I got into the photographic profession because it was cheaper – that would have been the absolute worst reason for me or anyone else, to choose photography as a profession. I went on to say that you need to be passionate about some aspect of photography that makes you want to do it more than anything, if you want to have a chance of sustaining yourself financially in this profession. Pursue photography because it brings you joy and that if you are getting into it because the entry level costs were “cheaper” you’ll simply be competing with thousands or tens of thousands of button pushers.

I went on to tell her that I became a photographer as a means to an end. I had been studying architecture in college and after two years left school to travel. I traveled the world for a year and came back knowing that I wanted to pursue a lifestyle that would incorporate travel but more importantly fill my endless curiosity of people and cultures and exploration. I wanted to become a storyteller, and became a photographer as a means to that end.

As the interview progressed I noticed the typing started to diminish as I told her that I have never separated my business from my pleasure and that they have always been tied together throughout my life. Simply put – my business is my pleasure. I talked about my frustrations starting out as one of a handful of women in a man’s world and for the most part a man’s profession – at least in the early days. I talked about the endless stream of rejections and the “wins” that seemed to pop into my life when I needed them most, rescuing me in the knick of time, just when I was thinking of quitting and moving into another career. I told her that unless she really wanted to do photography, she wouldn’t survive in this profession. I talked about my mentors when I was her age and how grateful I am that I had those people in my life. I relayed a couple of anecdotes about things my mentors had said to me and how those words had been pivotal moments in my life and that when things got tough, I drew upon those words of wisdom to get me through the day.

Then there was a very loud audible sigh, followed by a long period of silence and my mind raced through the various things that I had said to her. Was I too harsh? Did I paint too bleak of picture? Or worse yet – did I make it sound too easy and that all she had to do was “just do it”. I felt this overwhelming sense of responsibility that maybe I said something that was going to dictate the rest of her life and I kind of panicked in that moment of silence. And then she said “thank you so much for talking to me today, I started out just wanting to write my paper, and I’m going to have a great paper, but you have no idea how much talking to you has helped me.” She went on to tell me that she had been struggling with a decision that she was trying to make between going to law school and going to film school. I told her that she needed to make that decision all by herself and that it wasn’t a decision that anyone else could make for her – not I – not her parents – not anyone else. I told her to dig down deep into herself for the answer, beyond the influence of others, the dogma of the day and all the noise. And most importantly to remember that it was her life and that she got to choose how to live it and that she had every right to change her mind along the way.

Quite honestly, it has been one of those “onion” months for me, with layers of setbacks and second-guessing myself. I got off the phone feeling good about paying forward what I have learned along my way and in that moment, I realized that this might be my “purpose” at this point in my life. The day had turned into one of those sweet “strawberry days”. She didn’t know it, but she had helped me as much as she said I had helped her. It’s those conversations and those little moments that keep me going, and come to my rescue, just in the knick of time.

I would love to hear from you all – why did you want to become a photographer? Something you say or write just may help someone and paying it forward is the best feeling in the world.

December 30, 2011

Closing Thoughts and Best of Best

It’s been a very full year for me. I mean that in every sense of the word full – full of new experiences, full of hope, full of achievements – but also full of my share of rejections and disappointments. I’ve shared a lot of these experiences through this blog.

There have been times I haven’t written in a while because I didn’t feel like I’ve had anything worthwhile to say. And there have been times when I did write but I probably shouldn’t have because it wasn’t worth reading. I always told myself that when I didn’t feel like writing in my blog, that I just wouldn’t do it. So if there are long periods of time when I haven’t posted a new entry – it’s because for whatever reason, the desire may not be there. I have always appreciated the comments and feedback.

Here are the top 5 posts as far as number of hits:

My DSLR Kit for a Three-Month Road Trip

Gearing Up With HD DSLR’s

Standing on a 10-Foot Frozen Wave

Putting Together a DSLR Video Kit – and Why

Cultural Context and Photography

As you can see, the blogs about DSLR (for video) gear is where the interest was. But I’d have to say that out of those 5 posts, “Standing on a 10 Foot Frozen Wave” was my favorite. For me, it’s all about the story. And as Orson Welles once said “If you want a happy ending, it depends on where you stop the story”.

Happy New Year everyone.

December 10, 2011December 10, 2011

How a Film Can Make a Difference

I never fully realized the power that is within me to make a difference, until recently. Last summer, my daughter and I spent time with extraordinary people who were providing homes for orphans, feeding the hungry and curing the ill. They were all people we met while making a documentary about the change makers in our world – people who are making our planet a better place.

Our goal was to inspire and motivate others as to what they can do to make a difference in their own communities. Our goal was to cause a shift, in culture and in thought – from “what in it for me?” to “what can I do?” We’ve just begun to submit this documentary to film festivals and show sneak previews to small audiences but I can already tell that this film has affected change and the potential it has to move people to action.

From our first sneak preview at the beautiful State Theater in Traverse City, MI to a recent screening at MIS in Sao Paulo, Brazil, I feel the energy in the room and the collective desire to strive for a better world. I feel the power of film and the power within me as a storyteller and filmmaker. I feel the time for this film is now and that people are hungry for hope.

Many documentaries take the critical point of view and certainly have more conflict. Opening Our Eyes is different from other docs in that it shines a light on what IS being done to create positive change by individuals all over the world. Somehow by showing the small acts, this film makes all of us believe that we can create change as well. It empowers us to believe in the possibilities and gives us the hope we seem to be yearning for these days.

When I first conceived of the idea for this film, inspired by friend and neighbor Maggie Doyne, I was looking for some positive hope myself. I was tired of listening to the hundreds of “experts” on TV talking and all of them needing to be “right” – and nothing was getting any better. That was long before the Arab Spring and the Occupy movements. What I was sensing was the rest of the world was feeling the same way I was and decided to do something about it.

Time will tell if the film continues to create awareness and moves people to action, but at least I’m hopeful again.

Please consider supporting our effort by making a contribution to our IndieGoGo campaign, which only has a few weeks, left to go. And it’s tax deductible.

We can’t do it without your help.

December 8, 2011

There Are No Prince Charmings or Overnight Successes

I think we all buy into a lot of crap in our American culture – in a lot of cultures actually.

Let’s start with “Prince Charming”. Young girls grow up believing in the fantasy that there is ”the ideal man” out there who is perfect in every way. And young boys grow up with their own version of this fairytale. It’s really too bad because it’s all those flaws and differences that make us all human and drive us all crazy, that are the very things we should embrace. In our expectations for perfection and our intolerance for less, we often see only the “blemishes” or the cons and overlook the overall person. We fail to see that it is all of those things that go into the make up of a person’s character. It took my husband and I many years to figure out that the very things that annoyed us about one another – our differences – made us stronger as a couple.

There is no such thing as an “overnight success”. We believe that because in our culture we only hear about the successes. For some reason we don’t look at the big picture and everything that led to that recognition. Success is an interesting concept to me anyway. Many people define it by winning or attaining financial wealth. Ultimately, it’s defined by a final destination rather than the journey. Is it really about the final destination? If so how does one determine if only one win is enough or how much money is enough?

Talk to anyone who has risen to celebrity status and they will talk about the ups and the downs and the constantly evolving journey. A lot of musicians, who have had big hits and have gotten rave reviews, don’t always get the same glory the 2nd, 3rd or 4th time around. Their careers are made up of the highs and the lows and everything inbetween.

I’ve had my share of highs and lows. Last week I got my rejection notice from the Sundance Film Festival for my film, Opening Our Eyes. Rather than be despondent about it, I will frame this email rejection as a reminder to myself that I entered and had the courage to try. There were over 11,000 entries and only 16 documentaries will be shown this year. I am proud to be in this 99%. This rejection is but one of many that I’ve had over the years of my career. I’ve certainly had more rejections than I’ve had successes, but the failures have only made the successes that much sweeter.

This film in particular has been an evolving journey for me – with no destination in sight. While it may never be a “success” in terms of how some people define that word, for me it has already brought many unexpected rewards to my life. For example, I’ve just returned from Sao Brazil, Brazil where I had been invited to do a TEDx talk. It was one of those weekends that gave me great hope for the future as I dialoged with amazing people who were doing extraordinary things with their lives and for the lives of others. The next evening I was given the opportunity to screen my film at MIS, a beautiful museum in Sao Paulo. During the Q&A, a man asked me if making this film had changed my life. I didn’t have to give it a second thought before I answered “yes and it continues to do so in amazing ways.”

I will continue to embrace the entire journey – the lows as well as the highs.

December 2, 2011

Five Top Tips for Emerging Photographers

I talk to a lot of young aspiring photographers these days and invariably I am asked, “What advice would you give someone who is just starting their career in photography? – Is there a future? – Can I make a living?”

I don’t have a crystal ball but I do have 35 years of experience behind me but yet the enthusiasm and outlook of a 25 year old. I remind myself of what I learned from my mentors when I was just starting out. One mentor, who shaped my career, was art director Adrian Taylor of Travel & Leisure Magazine. Adrian taught me a lot – about magazines, about the story, about style and taste and most importantly he gave me the confidence to believe in myself. Adrian gave two young, naïve photographers, my partner and myself a chance and in return – we always gave it our all every time we set out to shoot a story.

With that said, I would not be where I am today if it had not been for mentors like Adrian Taylor and my greatest joy at this point in my life is to pay that forward to photographers just starting their careers.

Learn video – Video is no longer a “specialty niche” or in fact a separate genre at all. In the very near future – which is already upon us – a photographer will need to know how to shoot both stills and motion – or partner with someone who does.
Stay true to what your inner voice is telling you. For example, if your passion is to be a photojournalist, don’t listen to people who are telling you that photojournalism is dead and that newspapers are a thing of the past. While “printed” newspapers may be dying out – journalism and photojournalism is not. Don’t let others’ dogma determine what your path should be.
Collaborate with your peers. When I was first starting out, photographers kept their clients, their techniques and their ideas to themselves. But I have found that whenever I have collaborated with others – we all push the bar to the next level – each bringing their own strong suits to the project. As a subject of my film Opening Our Eyes told me “We’ve got to shine each other up.”
You don’t need the validation of others to proceed with your idea and make it into a tangible plan and product. As far as publishing and/or distribution is concerned – the gates to the kingdom are open and the kingdom is the entire world. We are living in a time of empowerment for the individual and for a content creator that is profound. If you are willing to do the work – the rewards are bountiful.
Act on the ideas that don’t go away. It’s easy to let resistance sabotage you. Resistance comes from many places – your loved ones, friends, your peers – but mostly yourself. Stop talking yourself out of ideas and start acting on the ones that just won’t quit you.

I have made my work my pleasure in my life. I have always found it difficult to separate the two. When you feel that – you’ll know you are on the right path.

October 23, 2011

Being Yourself

Yesterday, I gave a talk and showed a bit of my film, Opening Our Eyes,

Opening Our Eyes One Sheet Poster 27x40" — Movie poster for Opening Our Eyes

at the PACA conference in New York City. I had been asked by ASPP to speak about the making of the film and my plans for distribution. To tell you the truth, even though I’m always thrilled to show and/or talk about the film, I was a bit nervous with this crowd. PACA stands for the Picture Archive Council of America and its member include some of the biggest stock photo agencies in the world, including Getty, Corbis, Masterfile and Alamy. I was nervous because part of my message was that I no longer needed the validation or others to get my stories to market.

I thought my message would be somewhat threatening, because I was telling the audience that content creators no longer needed the traditional gatekeepers of the past, to get their stories “out there.” That because of technology, it was possible for the individual to have a global reach and if one is willing to do the work – the prize is all theirs – meaning the monetary rewards.

I had a tough time slot to speak – right after lunch – I knew that I would be dimming the lights for the film and that is never a good thing to do in that time slot. But, Tom Kennedy had given his very inspirational talk about new media and new opportunities in the marketplace. I had heard Tom’s talk as part of ASMP’s SB 3 series this past year – and I knew that my presentation was a great follow up to his – and in fact it was almost like a case study example of what Tom was talking about.

My presentation went amazingly well and as I looked out into the dimly lit audience as the film was playing – I couldn’t see any closed eyes. I felt that I made a connection, and that perhaps in some small way, I had made a difference. Maybe, I just got people thinking about what they could do to make a difference in their own lives. And maybe I had influence beyond that. But, I know that I stayed true to myself. My intent was not to come off as threatening – but I did want to make people feel a tiny bit uncomfortable. It’s when we get uncomfortable that we push ourselves to a better place.

My message was simple. Someone doesn’t need to lose – in order for someone else to win.

September 16, 2011

A Sad Day

This is out of the norm for this site, but I post this news to remind everyone to live their life each day as if it were their last. It’s a reminder to us all, to not put off those things you want to do or leave your words unsaid.

I write when I have something on my mind or feel that I have something to say and pass along. Today, I write because I’m heartbroken. I need to share some thoughts and then close out.

Willie “ Big Eyes” Smith – legendary blues musician, passed away – suddenly from a stroke. He was one of the seven Delta blues musicians that I interviewed for one of my first short documentaries back in 2002, The Delta Blues Musicians. They are all gone now – but one.

I’ll always remember the day I sat down to talk to Willie. It was relaxed and we had the most wonderful conversation, sitting on the porch of an old sharecropper shack at Hopson’s Plantation in Clarksdale, MS. I feel good that I captured his thoughts and words that day and preserved them for future generations. I feel that my purpose in life is to do just that – to document, record and capture the peoples and cultures of our times. I feel that is what I am here to do. When I stay on that course, I have peace inside. When I drift from that – I don’t feel right. I think I’ve always known that – but nowadays I try to stay focused on that path.

Willie’s passing reminds me yet again, how precious life is and to appreciate the now. For the most part, I do live in the now. I try to live my life as if this may be my last day on earth. It frees me from a lot of needless fears that stops lots of people from “doing”. It reminds me to tell my people that I love them because I may not get that chance again.

We all put things off or leave things left unsaid. Seven years ago, mom died suddenly, without warning. It seems like yesterday because the pain is still real and there is a hole left in my heart. I remember quite clearly the week before she died. It was a busy week and I had planned to give my mom a call because it had been awhile. I never did get that chance – and those words will go unsaid – forever.

We lost another blues legend earlier this year, Pinetop Perkins. Pinetop and Willie had just won a Grammy for the album “Joined at the Hip” that they worked on together. I had been meaning to head down to the Delta next month to the Arkansas Blues and Heritage Festival – I had missed the festival last year and I wanted to hear Pinetop and Willie play. Sadly, I won’t get that chance to see and hear them in concert again. But I do have their records and I’ll always have their words, both on tape and tucked away in the recesses of my mind.

We’ll miss you Willie.

August 3, 2011

The Definition of Insanity

It’s been said that doing things over and over again the same way and expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity. I’m not totally sure about that. I think it depends on what you are talking about and how it may affect other people.

I suppose that if one were to use the example of somebody who consistently breaks promises, yet still expects people to trust him/her – well, then that could support this theory. But, even so. I don’t think they are “insane” – I just think they are self-centered – they don’t consider how they affect others through their actions.

But, I look at this statement differently. I’ve learned that just because I make an attempt at something and it doesn’t succeed right away, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I’m insane to try again. Even if I don’t alter what I’m doing or how I approach it, it could succeed if I give it another chance. It could have been that my timing wasn’t right the first time around. If it’s something I believe in, I’ll be persistent in order to make it happen – no matter how many times I have to try. Doe this mean that because I WON’T give up and I keep trying – I’m insane? If that’s the definition of insanity then I’m insane.

Sometimes, it takes that one person, who is crazy enough to believe in their dream and make it a reality, that makes us take notice. You know the story of the overnight success and the years it took to get there. The world is full of people with stories like that – people who just keep trying and hoping for a different outcome – even though they may have failed a dozen times. But they didn’t really fail. It just wasn’t the right time.

Everything happens in its own time, when it’s meant to happen. Just because it didn’t work out the way you had hoped the first time – doesn’t mean you’re insane to keep trying and hoping for a different outcome. When you are true to your core and stick to your beliefs, the right people sense it and come into enter life because of it. But you have to be crazy enough to think it can happen.

July 26, 2011

Don’t Re-Invent Yourself

I’ve come to hate the expression “re-invent” yourself. It’s not only become a bit trite, but it’s caused a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

If one feels that they need to do a makeover, he/she is often coming from a place in one’s life where they feel they have failed. They may be at a low point in their life, either financially or emotionally and they have the desire to become someone else.

I’ve been thinking that perhaps we all have it wrong. I don’t think we need to abandon who we really are and try to become someone we aren’t. That never works. Creatively speaking, whenever I have approached my work as in need of a “makeover”, I have fallen victim to trends. We all do I suppose, in an effort to “look current”.

That may work for a while, at least financially speaking – but then again maybe not. I think my best work has come from my true self. It’s pure but it can be raw. It’s what I just can’t stop myself from doing. That is what resonates with others. I think that happens when I am very clear on my vision. It affects people in a primal, yet subtle way.

Maybe we shouldn’t try to re-invent ourselves. Maybe we should just listen to who we really are and trust that voice.

July 23, 2011July 24, 2011

More Stuff I Learned While Making a Movie

The day finally arrived – our first screening of Opening Our Eyes – a film that I have poured my heart and soul into over the last year and a half. Sounds like a cliché, but this project has consumed me in every way imaginable – good and bad.

As I looked up at the marquee of the State Theater in Traverse City, MI last Sunday morning, it hit me – we had done it. My daughter Erin and I had set out to make a film last Spring about people all over the world who were making it a better place – and we did it.

It was and will continue to be a lot of work – a lot more than I ever could have imagined. There have been some of the lowest of lows and the highest of highs along the way. There have been times of disappointment from unexpected sources and times of encouragement and support from remarkable people who came into my life because of this project.

I have learned so much since embarking on this journey – here are just a few things:

Believe in your dream. Lots of us have dreams but most of us don’t really believe in them. I think that makes all the difference as far as making your dream a reality – the ability to believe that your dream will happen. I have felt that this would happen from the first moment that I conceived the idea – I saw it – I heard it – This idea picked me – not the other way around.

Trust – I knew all along that for this film to be what I had envisioned it to be – I couldn’t do it alone. It could only succeed through the support of all the people who have contributed to this project from the beginning, whether by supporting it financially or just by being there for me to spring ideas off of. I really had to open myself up and trust that would happen – and it did. That’s not to say that I haven’t had my share of disappointments along the way, but I had to get past them and then learn to trust – again.

Work with people who share your vision. I used to think I could edit. but after working with my brilliant editor, Erik Freeland – now I just think I’m a hack. Finding Erik was a blessing. It’s not all that hard to find a good editor, but to find an editor who has the same drive and passion as I do for what this film is or can be – is a rare gift – and I know that. There have been a handful of times in my life, when this serendipity has happened and sometimes, I’ve been too busy to take notice – but this time, I not only took notice – I welcomed Erik’s vision. Because I was open to what Erik could bring to the film – it’s so much stronger.

Friends – As much as I know that I should never do anything for the sake of other people’s approval, there is always a part of me (my ego) that surfaces and seeks that approval or validation. Funny thing is that when you create something that is coming from such a sincere place in your own heart – a project that you’re so passionate about – people come into your life because of it. They are drawn in by your own enthusiasm. So when others, disappoint you or even take no notice at all – you realize their approval doesn’t really matter.
Chris Guillebeau has a wonderful blog post about this.

Feedback – One reason I had a couple of sneak previews this past week was to solicit feedback. When I get consumed with the mechanics of making a movie, especially the editing of the movie, I often get caught up in the nit picky stuff, (which is very important) but I need to step back and digest it as the overall movie. It’s tough when I’m so close to it, so I always solicit other’s input. I know I can’t accommodate everyone’s suggestions because I’d end up with a big mess if I tried. Some comments ring true and I may take them to heart, while other comments aren’t really along the same line of my thinking, so I discount them. Some people’s comments are brutal and cut deep, but after I get past the initial hurt, I realize sometimes, that the comments that cut deepest are the one’s that strike closest to the heart of the matter – and my inner voice takes notice.

Overcoming resistance – The most important thing of all. I did what I set out to do and that is to make a film that will motivate others and move them to action. During the first Q&A last week, a man stood up and thanked me for making the film. He told me that he hadn’t even intended to see a movie that morning – he had been looking at the posters announcing the lineup for the TC film festival this week and saw the marquee and came in. He told me that it changed his way of thinking – that it changed his life. And then he told me that I needed to screen this film for as many people as possible. That’s my ultimate goal – to share this film with others – and if one person in every audience reacts that way – well what more could I ask for?

This film may not be perfect and it may not be for everybody (certainly not the cynics), but I did something a lot of others never do – I executed my idea – rather than give myself lots of goods reasons why I couldn’t. I could cite plenty of reasons right now that could have or should have stopped me in my tracks. But I didn’t stop because I had such a strong belief in this dream – I saw it too clearly.

Whenever I pull back from my dreams and succumb to my own resistance, I stop and think about a line from a Joni Mitchell tune where she writes about old friends being “cynical and drunk and boring someone in some dark café”. I stop and I think about that. I sure don’t want to end up being one of those people who piss away their own life by passing judgment about other people’s efforts or causes. And then, I get out and do something. That’s how I’m making a difference.