Category: Inspirational

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Karma and Being Real

I had an awesome night last night.  My husband and I had tickets to a Jackson Browne concert. The seats were way up in the up most reaches of an old theater in New Brunswick, NJ.  They weren’t great tickets, but nevertheless, they were tickets to a concert by Jackson Browne, my favorite singer/songwriter.

During intermission, a guy, who had climbed four extremely steep flights of steps, walked into the “gallery” and announced that he had one available ticket in the third row and asked “Does anybody want it?” After a minute of trying to comprehend what the man had said, I spoke up and said “I’ll take it” and then asked  “Is it really in the third row?.  He confirmed, and then I asked my husband “you don’t mind do you?, gave him a kiss and flew down to my “new” seat.

It was an amazing night, JBto sit so close and be able to see and feel the music.  Jackson is one of the most intimate and real songwriters around and I got totally absorbed into his performance. I thought about my stroke of luck in getting that seat.  I thought perhaps my luck was changing after a very “trying” month. It was like a karmic blessing.

As I watched and listened to Jackson, I saw an artist whose talents and music have endured the test of time.  His topics and lyrics are just as relevant as they were when I first started following him, some 40 years ago.  That’s because he writes about the human experience – the triumphs and the failures that we all have.  He strikes a nerve with his truth and honesty.  Some say his music defines a generation.  Perhaps.  But Jackson’s music certainly defines who he is.  He’s about as authentic as you can be.

Jackson inspires me to create from my true self and do the work that I am meant to do.  He also inspires me to be a better person. After his encore, he waved to the audience and said, “Be good to each other”.  That said it all.

 From The Pretender, by Jackson Browne

I want to know what became of the changes
We waited for love to bring
Were they only the fitful dreams
Of some greater awakening
I’ve been aware of the time going by
They say in the end it’s the wink of an eye
And when the morning light comes streaming in
You’ll get up and do it again
Amen

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Wipe Your Knees Before Entering

I just learned that Bob Gilka, legendary Director of Photography at the National Geographic for over 20 years passed away yesterday.  He was 96 years old.  Bob was the “real deal” and he will be missed by many, but his legacy lives on in all the photographers careers that he shaped and mentored. I am reposting a blog that I wrote about Bob on December 1, 2009.  Rest in peace Mr. Gilka.

Back in the eighties when I was starting out, every six months or so I made the pilgrimage to Washington DC to see Bob Gilka, The Director of Photography at the National Geographic Magazine.  He was the guy who decided if you would shoot for the magazine. doormat2  He was accessible, answered his own phone and made appointments to look at work. How times have changed.

Gilka was a man of few words and because of that seeing him was always a bit intimidating.  If all you had were images to show – and nothing to say, you’d pretty much be in and out of his office in the amount of time it took to click through your slides. Knowing this, I did my homework prior to the appointment. I’d come up with about 10 query ideas, research back issues of the magazine to make sure they hadn’t been done before and have at least one idea written up in a story proposal.

I’ll never forget the first time I went to Gilka’s office.  His secretary met me in the lobby, and led me to a small area just outside his office.  There on his door was a doormat –with words that read “Wipe Your Knees Before Entering”.  Talk about feeling intimidated – as if it wasn’t intimidating enough just to be meeting with the Director of Photography  at the  National Geographic.

So every six months or so I would show my images and pitch my ideas.  This went on for about two years.  Each time I went I would almost test myself to see how long I could stay in his office.  I would do my best to sell my story pitches that I felt the strongest about and he would reply – “done it –doing it – or – don’t want to do it”.  This coupled with a few words of encouragement in regards to some of my photographs would pretty much be it as far as feedback.

Then one day he kept me waiting.  He had been detained in a meeting.  I had scheduled a pretty tight day to maximize my trip to Washington – so the delay had thrown a wrench into me keeping my other appointments that I had scheduled.  When Gilka did show up and apologized, I was already feeling quite anxious and showed it.  I told him that I didn’t have much time because I had to be across town at the Smithsonian in 20 minutes.  He picked up the phone, called Declan Haun, the picture editor I was headed to see at Smithsonian Magazine and explained that Gail Mooney was running late due to his tardiness.  Then he proceeded to look at my pictures and hear me out.

When I did get to the Smithsonian, it was amusing to see how curious Declan Haun was to find out who this Gail Mooney was that got Bob Gilka to call ahead for her. The very next month, I got a call from Bob Gilka offering me my first assignment.  Guess I just needed to show my real self. I had sufficiently shown my interest and determination in wanting to shoot for them. And I had demonstrated my photographic ability through my images.  But it was when I showed my true spirit that he knew that I could shoot for them.  I just had to get over my fright.

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Dealing with Adversity

If there’s one thing I learned from my parents growing up is “you never get anywhere if you take the approach that someone has to lose, in order for you to win”.  They were trying to tell me that I can’t control the actions of others.  I can only control who I am and what I do.

My folks family easterare both gone now, and I’m grateful for all of their words of wisdom. I try my best to live my life with the strength of character that my parents had.  They weren’t perfect by any means and neither am I.  But when things get rough in my life, as they have this past month, I draw on what my parents taught me and I try to get back on track.

I’d like to share some other words of wisdom from my folks:

  • Be the best you can be, instead of trying to be better than someone else.
  • When someone treats you poorly, it’s rarely about you – it’s about them.
  • Humans have frailties – show compassion when they fall short.
  • Never expect more than you are willing to give.
  • When you stand up for what is “right” – realize you may be the only one standing.
  • Friends come and go.  Honor the ones who stick with you to the end.
  • There is only one truth.
  • Forgive those who hurt you – including yourself.
  • Stay clear of folks who bad mouth others because one day you will be the one they are bad mouthing.
  • Things are meant to happen for a reason.  Remember that at your darkest hours because it’s usually a signal that you need to make a change in your life.
  • Don’t feel sorry for yourself – there’s always someone who is worse off than you.
  • When you are afraid to take a risk in life, ask yourself “what’s the worst thing that could happen?”

Thanks Mom and Dad for what you have taught me.  You have given me the strength and courage when I have needed it the most.

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Embrace Unpopularity

There have been more than a few times in my life when I have said something or spoken my mind that made me “unpopular”.   You would think that I would learn.  Learn to keep my mouth shut.  Learn to be more diplomatic.  Learn to say the things that people want to hear, rather than say the things that I feel need to be said.  But, yet I seem to have a knack of saying and doing things that make me “unpopular”.

I just can’t seem to help myself from being true to who I am.  And each time, I’ve done or said something that seems to polarize the status quo; I beat myself up for it.  Bent stop sign at crossroads, Mississippi DeltaYou would think I would learn.  After listening to this TED talk this morning, I have learned.  And what I have learned is that maybe I’ve been trying to appeal to the wrong demographic.

In the talk, speaker Erika Napoletano, states:  “We spend our lives trying to build ourselves into something that other people think that we should be, when in fact we should be spending our time trying to actively polarize our audience.  Give them tools to help them know whether or not they should love us and give it early and give it often. Because that’s when we stop wasting time, both ours and every one else’s”.  Erika went on to say some things that really resonated with me because she was being perfectly honest.

I am a creative being – a photographer, a filmmaker, a writer and an explorer of what the world has in store.  After listening to Erika’s talk, I realized that I have wasted an awful lot of time and effort trying to appeal to the wrong demographic – the “popular” and the “majority”.  When I think about the things that I have created that I am most proud of, and that have been the most gratifying, I realize that every one of those triumphs have come when I’ve been honest and true to myself.  In other words – I’m at my best, when I stop apologizing for who I am and instead, I embrace it.

So, when I wake up on those mornings after I’ve beaten myself black and blue for being who I am, I try to remember that “being myself” is better than the alternative – trying to politely appeal to the “popular” crowd.  While, it may be easier to fall in step with the “status quo”, it is not only counter-productive to being true to oneself, it stifles creativity.

It’s tough to stay true to oneself in a society that often teaches us to favor politeness over honesty but at the end of the day, it’s far more rewarding.

“Here’s to the Crazy Ones.  The misfits.  The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes.  The ones who see things differently”.  Steve Jobs

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Fear and Innovation

One Fear illustration from Book of Fears
One Fear illustration from Book of Fears (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We are taught from an early age to conform.  Think about it.  Schools emphasize conformity with rules, regulations and a system built on recitation and memorization. We are told there are two types of answers – “right” and “wrong” ones. I suppose when speaking about math and science, it could be stated that there are only two types of answers or conclusions – it’s either right or wrong.  But is that true?  Are there really only two types of answers?  Or is that merely a mechanism that makes it easier to grade tests and papers?

Is it any wonder that we are programmed from an early age NOT to be innovative or creative with our thinking?  Is it any wonder that we are afraid or fearful to take a leap and question something?  But what are we afraid of? Essentially, we are afraid to be wrong.  We are afraid to fail.  So what do we do?  We let our fear stop us and in doing so we stifle creativity and innovation.

We have been trained to obey rules, comply, sit and stand in an orderly fashion, “don’t rock the boat”, “be a good soldier”, and in the process we stifle innovation and growth.  The problem is that “system” left over from the industrial age doesn’t work anymore. The world has changed.  These days, people are entering a “workforce” that is no longer contained within geographic boundaries with an established set of rules and controls. It’s out of our control. Wow, that’s enough to make anyone afraid.

So, what do most people do when their world is changing and they are scared to death?  Sadly, they tend to desperately hold onto a system that is broken and no longer serves them well.  They spend enormous amounts of energy defending this broken system from the past because it’s all they know.

We can either succumb to change, and merely react to it little by little over time, until there isn’t much left of a life we once knew, or we can face our fears and take responsibility for our lives.  In order to do that, we need to change our outlook and identify what it is we are really afraid of.  Ironically, what most of us fear is failing, so in an effort to protect ourselves from this fear – we ultimately fail because we end up with a life that brings few rewards.

Listen to what Sue Bryce and Seth Godin have to say on this topic.

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Mentors and Lessons Learned

I recently visited with one of my mentors, Adrian Taylor who had been instrumental in my career.  I met Adrian when he was art director at Travel & Leisure Magazine.  He had just taken that job and relocated to NYC from San Francisco where he had been based for almost 20 years.  My partner, Tom and I had just graduated from Brooks Institute and were young eager photographers when we met Adrian. Looking back, I think that meeting was perhaps the most instrumental and fortunate bit of fate in our beginning careers.

During our visit, Adrian started recanting his amazing stories of when he first got started as an art director.  He was also young and eager to learn, when Frank Zachary, editor of Holiday Magazine took him under his wing.  Adrian was reminiscing because Vanity Fair had just run a story about those early days of cn_image.size.holiday-magazineHoliday and the legendary writers and photographers who contributed to it at the time.  The contributors read like a who’s who:  John Steinbeck, Carier-Bresson, Slim Aarons, Fred Maroon, John Lewis Stage and so on.  At one point in referring to Zachary, Adrian said “he encouraged me.” Without missing a beat Tom replied, “That’s what you did for us too.”

I’ve been thinking about how important “encouragement” is for someone just starting out.  Learning technique and business tips from a mentor are very important things for young photographers to learn when first starting out, but I think perhaps the greatest gift a mentor can give is his or her encouragement.   If there were one thing that I can point to that I got from Adrian it would be just that.  He encouraged us to be the best we could be.  He believed in me so much that I couldn’t not believe in myself and that made me challenge myself and grow with every assignment.

Years later, I had a friend who became a mentor to me when I first started to write.  He too encouraged me.  At times he praised me and other times he was incredibly harsh with his comments, but I learned and I got better because of his encouragement.  He is no longer here, but his encouragement, as well as the lessons learned have played a part in my life. In fact, he gave me the courage to take on one of the most challenging projects of my life.

Mentors come and go in one’s life each making their own mark as they do.  If you should be so lucky to have people like this in your life, make sure you do one thing – take the time to make an impact on someone else’s life.  You never know what will come of that but no doubt it will make a difference, not only in that person’s life, but in your own as well.

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What’s Your End Goal?

Do you ever feel stuck – like you just can’t quite make it to the finish line?  This can happen for a number of reasons – your plan wasn’t well thought through – your perfectionism has stopped you – you don’t see the big picture or you can’t break down the details – or maybe you never had a goal to begin with.

The one thing I try to do whenever I think about embarking on a project is to define my end goal – “What are my expectations?”  White Sands, New MexicoWhen I make myself think about my end goal, it forces me to clearly define it.  This allows me to assess my underlying motivations, cut out the chaff and move forward to stay on target and reach the finish line.

Sounds simple, but the problems arise when I let other people sidetrack me from my original goal.  For example: when I was working on the trailer for              Opening Our Eyes, I posted my work in progress on Vimeo and shared it with friends and colleagues.  Many people offered up advice and solutions according to how they wanted  to see the story to unfold.  Some suggested that my daughter and I (the filmmakers) should be more present in the trailer and in the film itself.  Some thought we shouldn’t be in it at all.  At one point I started to incorporate everyone’s suggestions and ended up with a trailer that was neither here nor there.  I had lost sight of my own end goal and I needed to step back from the edit, the technology and the influence and ask myself  “What is it I’m trying to say?”

Well intentioned people in our life can easily distract us from our own purpose and before you know it you’re not living the life you are meant to live and you can’t understand why you’re not getting anywhere.  When this has happened in my life’s journey, it’s usually taken something “bad” or “good” to take place, that stops me in my tracks and makes me step back from the noise and ask myself “What is my end goal? – Where is it I’m trying to get to?”  I don’t always have a clear answer but at least I’ve taken notice of the question.

I think that’s the key – to take notice of how you’re living your life and if you are on the right path.  Goals come and go and it’s all those little unexpected surprises that life throws at you that determine the outcome.  We can’t control everything in our lives but we can take notice of where we are going and ask ourselves “Is that the destination we are bound for?”

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I Don’t Want to be the Smartest One in the Room

My mom used to tell me, “You don’t want to buy the nicest house on the block.” She didn’t just say it when I was buying real estate, but used it as an analogy when she was dispensing other words of wisdom.  Maybe that’s why I grew up not wanting to be the “smartest person in room.”

When I was very young, I used to create characters that I wanted to hang out with. Hot air balloon floating overe Hunterdon County, NJ One was my imaginary friend Peteso who was a “newspaper boy” in China, doing dare devil stunts on his bicycle as he delivered his papers.  There were plenty of others, each one bringing something exciting to my more mundane life of a typical 5 year old child.

By the time I got out of college, I had traveled the world, building all sorts of relationships with people from many different cultures who had broadened my mind as to how I saw the world and myself.  I gravitated toward people who were NOT like me.

When I first began my career as a photographer, I had the great fortune of having  an incredible art director, Adrian Taylor as my mentor.  Adrian had a colorful career as an art director for magazines like Holiday (the original) and Travel & Leisure, which is how I connected with him.  Adrian took my partner Tom and I under his wing when we were first starting out.  He encouraged us by believing in us and he made me always want to put everything I had into an assignment and improve with each one.

We learned a lot from Adrian, but perhaps one of his greatest gifts was to include us in lunches, dinners and parties with some of the best photographers of that time – Arnold Newman, Slim Aarons, Pete Turner, Al Satterwhite, John Lewis Stage, Fred Maroon and countless others.  Being in the room or literally “at the table” with these legends and listening to their stories and advice was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. What I learned from these photographers is the kind of stuff you don’t learn at a photography school.  And it wasn’t necessarily things like business tips or photographic technique.  They talked about their passion and their ideas and it awakened me to the possibilities within myself.

I’ve been preparing a presentation that I’ll be doing for ASMP at the NAB Show (National Association of Broadcasters) next week. As much as I’m grateful to be able to share my knowledge at this prestigious conference, I have to remind myself that it’s only possible because I’ve lived my life, putting myself in situations and environments where there are people who are much smarter than me.  In fact, for me the best part of NAB is to sit in on some of the panel discussions with the movers and shakers of the industry and listen to what they’re talking about.

These days, when I fantasize, I no longer create make believe characters to hang out with.  Instead I imagine myself at a table, having a discussion with people who intrigue me on some level and expand my mind to a place it hasn’t gone before. And then I set out to make my fantasy come true.

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Creating Inspiration

I’ve gotten away from writing lately, maybe because I’ve been really busy, and maybe because I’ve felt uninspired.  That’s a terrible feeling for me, it’s as if I’m void of any “feeling” at all.  It tends to happen when I’m spending more time doing the things I don’t want to do instead of what I feel I’m here to be doing.

When I woke up this morning I thought, “anything can happen today”.  Temple of Horus, Edfu, EgyptThat thought in it self makes me want to get out of bed. I start thinking about the endless possibilities that can happen on any given day.  I grabbed a cup of coffee, checked my email and read Seth Godin’s blog and it was like it was written for me.  It was called “The moment of highest leverage”.  He was talking about moments when you’ve either lost something or won – when it feels hopeless or when it appears to be a lock.  He said that these were the times you can choose to do what’s in your heart and bring your real work to the world, instead of the lesser version that you think the market wants.

I’ve been struggling with feelings of hopelessness after a slew of rejections and misses. I knew I needed two things:  a change of scenery and some insightful conversation.  I went to Hawaii on impulse and got both.  One day, my good friend PF Bentley was showing me the “film” that he made for National Geographic photographer Dewitt Jones.  Dewitt has been shooting extraordinary images for the Natl. Geo for over 40 years and he had hired PF to create inspirational corporate training videos.    The “film” segments were a combination of Dewitt speaking about his life and his career in an inspirational way and b-roll of him shooting in beautiful Hawaiian settings interwoven with his amazing still images.   The piece was so touching; it brought tears to my eyes.  When it was over I started crying and I apologized to PF.  He said, “that’s ok, I know I’ve done my job right”.  PF and Dewitt had done theirs jobs right and they had inspired me.

I’ve had two speaking engagements and a screening of Opening Our Eyes this past weekend and in each situation, I was feeling good and that I had something to say and to share.  It must have come across because at each venue there was at least one person who I inspired – I could tell – I could feel it.  There was one woman at the screening, who had found out about it through one of our subject’s blog, Maggie Doyne. After the movie was over and most people had gone, I talked to her for a long time and I could see that the film had inspired her greatly.  I knew that I had done my job right and it was the best feeling in the world.  It reminded me of what is most important to me in my life and that is to create awareness with my still images or movies and move people or inspire them.

I don’t spend a lot of time on Facebook these days but I was looking at my news feed at the end of that long weekend and I noticed a photo that Ethan Browne (Jackson Browne’s son) had posted on his page.  It was a photograph of Jackson with one of his fans and Ethan had commented underneath it  “proud of   my pops – he stokes people for a living”.  I smiled and I thought, “That’s what I want to do”.

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Words of Wisdom For and From Young Photographers

I’m on the advisory board of the YPA (Young Photographers Alliance) and while there are times that I feel I am on one too many boards and spreading myself too thin these days, it’s nights like last night that make it all worthwhile.

Last night was the Mentee/Mentor Exhibition and Awards Ceremony at the Calumet Gallery in New York City.  I must confess that I really didn’t want to go for a couple of reasons:  I needed to get up at 3:30AM to leave for the airport (this morning) and I’ve been in a bit of a funk that I can’t seem to shake myself out of and I didn’t want to be one of those negative cynical people bringing the “mood” down.  But I’m also one of those people that everyone can count on – so I did my best to rise to the occasion.

Before the affair, there was a meeting with the young photographers (mentees) and the mentors to receive and give feedback.  One of the students said that they wished some of their time with their mentors had been spent discussing the “business” of photography – something she didn’t feel she was learning in school.  I pointed out that there was a lot of information about business practices on the ASMP website, including contract shares and encouraged the students to check it out.  And then I told them that the best “business” advice I could give them was to be true to themselves and that if they did that and didn’t stray from their “purpose” that would set that apart from their competition because there is only one “you”.

And then I relayed my “Jay Maisel” story as I have dozens of times. Gail at the Great Pyramids 1971 I had gone to see Jay when I was just starting out.  My heart and my passion was in photojournalism, but countless professional photographers had told me that I couldn’t make a living doing that kind of work – so I when I went to see Jay, I had my “commercial” portfolio with me, which I thought was pretty good.  He looked at it, pushed it back at me and said, “ This is crap – this isn’t what you want to do is it?”  I said no and told him that I wanted to be a photojournalist.  He asked me how old I was to which I replied “25 years old”.  He looked me straight in the face and said, “You’re 25 years old and you’re already making compromises”.

I told the kids that it was a turning point in my life and that whenever I strayed from my purpose – and felt it – over the last 35 years – I remembered Jay’s words.  Then one of the students asked me a question that I hadn’t ever been asked when telling that story over the years.  She said “What was it about your work that made him think your heart wasn’t in it?”  I hadn’t really ever thought about that – I had always focused on what I wanted to do instead.  But when she asked that question, I had to reply, “I really don’t know”.

I’ve been thinking about it all morning on my way from Newark to San Francisco and I wonder – was it the work that felt empty or impersonal?  Or was it the way I looked when I handed it to him?  Or was it both?  I’m waiting for my next leg to Honolulu and then on to Molokai to meet up from one of my mentors, PF Bentley who taught me everything I know about how to tell a story in motion. I’ll have another 7 hours to contemplate that question and even if I never come up with the answer, that question pulled me out of my funk.  Just in time to once again put my head in an “open” place to learn and get back on purpose.